Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Aussie Man Loses Chunks Of Flesh From Birth Defect

A drunken Aussie lost chunks of flesh in a freak accident caused by complications from a birth defect.

What kind of horrific birth defect could cause a grown man to suddenly, painfully lose great gobbets of meat from his leg?

Ginormous balls.

........................................

In related news, Fatso the saltwater croc chomped an anonymous drunken idiot victim who climbed on his back for a ride. That's right. Climbed on his back for a ride.



The BBC reports that the 36-year-old man, who had already been thrown out of one drinking establishment for his... ahem... level of intoxication, climbed over a fence and sat on the croc.

"Fatso has taken offense to this and has spun around and bit this man on the right leg," Sgt Roger Haynes of Broome police told journalists.

The moron victim underwent surgery and is expected to survive. No word on the condition of his ginormous balls.

Monday, July 12, 2010

This Is OBSCENE!

What is obscene?

Well... It depends on your definition of what the word is is.

Sorry. Wrong bit of self-serving claptrap. But the legal definition of obscene isn't much clearer than that answer. It pretty much boils down to "Depends on who you ask." Nobody asked me, but I'm gonna give you my opinion anyway.

What I consider obscene is that in 2010, the federal government is still bothering to prosecute folks on obscenity charges.

I saw this at ReasonOnline. Did a bit of googling to see if there's other coverage, but the great bulk of it seems to be (understandably) in the adult video sites and forums. Some interesting search results, to put it mildly. Anyways...

John Stagliano is the owner of Evil Angel, which produces and distributes adult videos. You know... Porn.

And he's currently being prosecuted under federal obscenity laws.

Surely there's more to this, right? It can't be possible that in this day and age the federal government has nothing better to do than prosecute people for making dirty movies, right?

Maybe it's because he's exploiting children...? Nope. The movies star and are made for adults.

Maybe it's a violent snuff film...? Nope. Consenting participants.

Maybe, since obscenity is determined by community values, he had upstanding citizens complain to the feds...? Nope. The films were special ordered by the FBI and paid for by you & I.

So where's the problem?

The movies have been determined to be "yucky" by the standards of some self-righteous prig somewhere who happens to hold a gubment position. While I've not watched (Yeah, slacking in my journalistic credibility by not doing all my research), I think the titles were probably enough to set off the yucky-meter for some: "Milk Nymphos" and "Storm Squirters 2: Target Practice".

So... probably not to everybody's taste. I can't imagine my grandmother renting them - not that I'd judge her if she did, mind you - but obscene? Really? Worthy of FEDERAL prosecution?

I'm assuming the feds have balanced the budget. No? How about ended the wars? No again? Hmmm. Cured cancer then, at the very least?

I admit, I'm biased. I could give a damn less what consenting adults do (or watch) in their own homes. I don't see porn as the dire threat to morality that some claim it is. I believe sex addiction is horseshit, and any grown adult claiming they are a suffering victim is truly just a cad with no willpower who refuses to give their frontal lobe control over their brain. I think women who protest strip clubs as a danger to the community are in denial over where the true problem lies. And I think prostitution should be legal and regulated.

But I do find some thing obscene...

I find it obscene that with very real problems facing our country, and a serious economic condition, we're wasting time and tax dollars prosecuting someone for making dirty movies.

I find it obscene that small-minded individuals still want to mind other peoples' business.

And I find it obscene that something made by adults, with adults and for adults - with no acknowledged harm to anyone involved - is considered criminal activity in the first place.