Meghan McCain - The Real Story

I don't follow Twitter. It strikes me as cyber-ADD.... brief bursts of nonsense for the most part, giving instant updates to those with minimal attention spans from those with minimal attention spans. But whether you follow it or not, if you have the internet you've heard about Meghan McCain's breasts.

Seems Ms. McCain "innocently" posted a "fun" picture of herself relaxing with a good book, and can't quite figure out now why it got such a response.

Nothing wrong here, right? Obviously just an "innocent" and "fun" shot to share with the world, right? Never mind that most women don't have cleavage on the TOPS of their breasts without an old fashioned corset or a push-up bra that would torture Victoria into telling all her secrets. Surely, there was nothing staged or intentional about the... ahem... gravity-defying, make-a-comic-book-female-look-underdeveloped, Balloon Boy, ain't-inflation-a-bear squishatude happening in this photo.

But I've put a lot of thought into this. (Probably a sign that I should get out more.)

I think there is something nefarious afoot... er, abreast. I've just felt like there must be more to this story. I can't bring myself to believe that Ms. McCain would be so foolish as to think nobody would notice her... um... assets. She seems like a smart girl, no? There must be a logical explanation for Meghan and her girls being right there in all our faces like that.

So... I've done some research. It's been dangerous, I assure you. There are some secrets we little people aren't meant to know. I have come to a conclusion that is shocking - SHOCKING, I tell ya!

The original photo appears to have been heavily photoshopped. After much digging, I have located the original, and I'll share it with you here. You see, Meghan McCain intended all along for her breasts to be the centerpiece of that now-infamous photo. Oh, yes. It was part of the plan and the program. But after it was released, it was decided by those on high that the real photo could only be bad publicity... so the cover up began. The original photograph (and Twitter image) were heavily altered, and every trace erased -- except for THIS copy.

Ahhhhh......

She's a closet Petapeople! It explains so much.