Peta Gets Their Just Desserts

Last week I posted about a Peta whackadoodle activist who hit Canadian official Gail Shea with a tofu pie...

(Tofu pie.  Gawd, I still can't get past the idea.  UGH!)

When another Canadian official tried to classify it as a terrorist act, I came to Peta's defense.  While the act was juvenile, it struck me as harmless and mainly a crime of taste.  (Although I freely admit, if I was struck in the face with a tofu pie, I would retaliate with biological warfare.  Specifically, I would vomit on the thrower.  Tofu pie.  Blech.)

On Friday, Peta got a taste of their own medicine... er... pie.  A local radio station mascot found a Petapeople protesting the seal hunts (while dressed in a seal costume - how cute), and proceeded to nail her with a pie.

Well, all's fair, right?  Apparently not.  Check out how Treehugger describes the act (emphasis mine):

PETA activist dressed as a seal gets her just desserts as another costumed crusader, Salty, attacks poor seal hunt protester PETA activist Emily Lavender of Vancouver, no doubt with a seal flipper pie

.
Attacks.  Gimme a break.  At least the girl in the seal suit seems to have a sense of humor:

Lavender, like Shea, took the pie-ing in stride and carried on with her business.

I hope now that Peta has been pied in retribution, MP Gerry Byrne will drop the "terrorist act" silliness.

For your Monday morning smile:

HOT FOR TEACHER - Peta's ABC Strip Quiz

It's Rule 5 Sunday eve, and my favorite nutjobs activists over at Peta have a new feature on their site. To promote the "ABC" campaign (that's Animal Birth Control for you clueless fur-wearing meat-eaters), they have an "ABCs Strip Quiz".

Did I say "Hot for Teacher"? Looks more like a school girl than a teacher... But what do you expect from folks who can't tell a fish from a kitten?

Regardless, their new promotion features this young lady spreading the... uh... word about Animal Birth Control. She says:

Hi, I'm Amber, and today, we're going to be going over our ABCs. Here's your first lesson: "ABC" stands for "animal birth control," but it can also stand for "Amber's bored with clothes" if you have the brainpower to answer these 10 quiz questions correctly.

Now, I've never claimed to sympathize with Peta or their silly many causes... But, I realize my readers may want to know more. So in the interest of investigative journalism, I'm willing to make a sacrifice. I plan to fake it. That's right. I think I'm bright enough to figure out which answers Peta wants (even if I don't agree with them) so that I can bring you the final... um... climax of the quiz.

A couple of questions in, and this is the progress:

Well... I must be guessing right, huh? Interesting way to get people thinking about spaying their pets.
What's that? You already forgot the point of the quiz? Sheesh. Animal Birth Control! Focus!

Onward to the next questions. By the way, every time you get one wrong, ol' Amber threatens to start putting her clothes back on. Talk about pressure!

I'm down to the last couple of questions now... So far so good, I guess. But in the interest of respecting RSM's PG-13 guideline for Rule 5 Sundays, maybe I should put the rest below the fold.







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Click here for the finish:

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

There is a disturbance in the force. Something is tangled in the warp and weft of the very fabric of the universe. Hell may, indeed, have finally frozen over.

I'm about to defend Peta.

Ohhhh... it burns.

I hate Peta. I've mentioned it. Repeatedly. I really hate them.

I saw this story this morning and didn't post on it. Why? Well, I couldn't do anything with it. Nobody famous was runnin' nekkid in it. They weren't giving preschoolers night terrors outside of the chicken joint. An American Petapeople hit Canadian official Gail Shea in the face with a tofu pie.

Really, my only though was "Tofu pie? Eww!"

But the story? Meh. And this from someone who does a fair amount of vegan loony Peta bashing.

Now I read that Liberal MP Gerry Byrne has told a Newfoundland radio station that the incident should be investigated as a terrorist act.

Byrne says it could be a test case:

"It would be illegal to make funds, to contribute funds, to what is termed a terrorist organization," Byrne said. "It would also severely restrict the movements between borders, between Canada and the U.S., of PETA members, especially their executive, and it would cause a matter of surveillance to occur of PETA members who would be labelled as members of a terrorist organization."

I hate Peta. Have I mentioned that? I thought it was hilarious when the USDA put them on an eco-terror list. But that was for breaking and entering and dangerous behaviors. This is different. This is insane. Restrict their movements? Cut off their funds? Surveillance?

For a freaking pie? Are you shitting me? And gawd help me, I agree with Ingrid Newkirk:

"Mr. Byrne's reaction is a silly, chest-beating exercise that is unlikely to impress anyone who has a heart for animals or who is bright enough to spot the difference between a bomb and a tofu cream pie," Newkirk said in a statement.

I can't believe it... but I agree with her.

The pie pusher was arrested for assault. That makes sense to me, and seems reasonable. But terrorism? For a pie? Gimme a break.

BRAINLESS "BEEF=BAD" BELIEVERS BOTHERED BY BLING BUG

Heh.

So there's this lady crossing the Mexican border, and someone is the customs line says "My, what a loverly brooch!"

And then it crawls up her...

OK, I joke. Sort of. There really was a lady wearing a bug brooch, though, and she's got my favorite cultists wetting their organic cotton pants over it.


Now, leaving aside the fact that those are clearly fake stones (so it's a broke bug), what's Peta's deal here?

Well, the little bug-ger is still alive.

"This woman’s choice of a fashion accessory gives new meaning to the term fashion victim," said Jaime Zalac, media liaison for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Wait, you say... Surely even the utter loons whackadoodle nutjobs ACTIVISTS (There. Got it, and with a straight face - Not!) at Peta draw the line at insects, right?

Ummmm.... wrong.

"Beetles may not be as cute and cuddly as puppies and kittens, but they have the same capacity to feel pain and suffer" Zalac said referring to the jeweling of the beetle. "It’s ironic. "Beetles may not be as cute and cuddly as puppies and kittens, but they have the same capacity to feel pain and suffer" Zalac said referring to the jeweling of the beetle. "It’s ironic. We spend hours each week helping kind people find humane ways to relocate lost insects such as ants, bees and roaches that wander into their homes. People feel so good about not hurting them, while this woman paid someone to mutilate them." such as ants, bees and roaches that wander into their homes. People feel so good about not hurting them, while this woman paid someone to mutilate them."

Bwahaha! Oh, my!

"We spend hours each week helping kind people find humane ways to relocate lost insects..."

They spend hours relocating roaches! Oh, I swear... as long as there are Petapeople out there, I'll never be at a loss for entertainment! Wonder how long it'll take them to find loving homes for all those bats in their collective belfry?! Heehee. Relocating roaches.

Coulda been worse... Ol' Mr. Bug wouldn't have gotten nearly as much sympathy had he been wearing a nice, fur coat while eating a bacon doublecheeseburger!

Roaches. Thank you, Peta - for starting my Monday with a howl!

PETA = A Bunch of Dumbos

Saw this at JammieWearingFool:




Those Dumbos at Peta held another protest against circuses (kind of ironic, as Peta is a circus all its own...). This time, they've chosen the Hodge elementary school in Savannah as a venue.

You read that right. An elementary school. Isn't that a lovely place for a bloody, bandaged elephant to be hanging around? Ringling Brothers is coming to town, and Peta wants to scare the hell out of its potential customers.

Who the hell approved this? Who didn't call the cops?

At my kids' elementary school, parents need clearances from the police to be able to chaperone a field trip, but in Savannah uncleared strangers hidden in full-body costume can stand on the sidewalks harassing children?

I've mentioned (maybe once or twice) how I hate and loathe these extremist whack jobs. Like here, here, and here. A wee bit obsessed? Maybe. But this cult has more respect for the feelings of a fish sea kitten than they do for human children.

Between their disgusting "McCruelty" campaign - where they stand in front of McDonald's restaurants traumatizing every kid who walks by - and this, these people are just going too far. The school district should have notified local police and had these morons dragged away in cuffs. The school district's response was weak:

But an end-of-the-day announcement over the school's loudspeaker warning children not to speak to strangers - even those in costume - foiled the animal rights group's plans to reach hundreds of impressionable minds.

Not speak to strangers? How about not allow strangers to dress as injured animals and pass out propaganda to little kids?

They're lucky it wasn't my kids' school. That elephant would have been displaying some more realistic injuries by the time I finished. Seriously.

I support the right to free speech and expression. I support the right to protest. But the minute you begin to target impressionable children with images intended to horrify, you've crossed a line.

FAUX-Nekkid Protesters!

Oh, this is too funny.

I read the other day that a bunch of activists in New York were planning a nekkid bike ride to protest their bike path being removed. No shocker there, as every so-called activist worth their salt knows it isn't a protest if you have your clothes on.

Anway, I just saw on RiehlWorldView that these are sissy protesters. See, it's cold out there. I mean, sure it's December and all... but it's cold out there! And snowy!

The solution? Pin fake, plastic boobies to your warm winter coat!

I suppose most of the boobies in Peta ads are plastic, too... So what's the big deal, right?

Well, as much as I hate Peta and all Petapeople, at least they have the courage of their convictions.

Fake boobs pinned to a winter coat! I'm sorry, but that's freakin' hilarious. I hope those losers' butts freeze to their bike seats. Bwahaha! Once again, a stunning example of what I had in mind when I named this blog.

Plastic boobs. Too funny!

(Hey... the Peta babes make this another Rule 5 Sunday post! This week I managed a three-fer threeway threesome TRIFECTA! Can I get a WOOT WOOT? Here's Pam Anderson and some Keira Knightley, if it please ya.)

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A link from RiehlWorldView! Thanks, Dan!

And thanks as always to The Other McCain for the Rule 5 Sunday linky love!
Remember to keep an eye on the NEW The Other McCain site. Looks like it's coming together nicely!
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Thanks for coming! While you're here, please check out the rest of my blog... see what Makes My Brain Itch!

Pamela Anderson Raises Millions For Charity

It's Rule 5 Sunday again. It's also almost Christmas, so I was thinking about celebrities who do good things for the little people.... The Daily Beast had a piece up about Hollywood folks who produce the most money for their charities, either by driving or giving donations. The number one female by dollar amount was Madonna - who makes my skin crawl - so I skipped along to number two (three on the list).

Pamela Anderson.

Huh. Who'da thunk? (And, she's long been in a place of high traffic generation honor on McCain's site! I should get bonus linky points for that!)

USDA Classifies PETA as Terrorists

I don't know how I missed this. I actually Google these weasels every few days (Yes, I hate them that much.), and didn't catch this fresh...

Apparently, the USDA has classified Peta, along with ALF and ELF, as potential "domestic special interest terrorists". In the new "APHIS Facility Security Profile" given to research facilities who conduct animal testing - a frequent target of ecoterrorists - Peta is included on a questionnaire about terrorist threats and activities.

And they're crying about it.

In an op-ed for the Sacramento Bee, Justin Goodman of Peta whines that:

"This should give all Americans pause. People who engage in nonviolent
protests and civil disobedience are sitting in jail cells, stigmatized by one
of the most politically charged and discrediting labels of our time..."

Now, I'm a firm believer in free speech - even if I don't happen to agree with your speech. I think the right to peaceful demonstration and speaking out against injustice is our most important freedom. That said, even the Supreme Court agrees that freedom of speech doesn't give you license to say and do whatever the hell you feel like at any given moment. There are reasonable restrictions that protect the safety and well-being of others from what you say and do. The classic example is not being allowed to shout "Fire!" in a crowded theater.

As I've stated more than once, I despise Peta and the Petapeople cult. So bearing in mind my prejudice against them, I checked out the definition (don't tell Obama, he has a problem with that) of "terrorism" to see if they have a leg to stand on. Per the online definition from Princeton:

•S: (n) terrorist (a radical who employs terror as a political weapon;
usually organizes with other terrorists in small cells; often uses religion as a
cover for terrorist activities)

Peta may not think their activities deserve the definition of terror, but I disagree. These assholes regularly target children with their nasty little demonstrations. And by demonstration, I do not mean standing with a sign and asking folks to sign a petition, or anything I consider peaceful and non-threatening.

I'm talking about things like their Unhappy Meals campaign, which they're smugly proud of. From the weblink for the "Unhappy Meals" comes this description:

"The inside of the Unhappy Meal box is stained with "blood" and contains a
"blood"-filled packet urging McDonald's to "Ketchup With the Times," a paper
cutout of a menacing Ronald McDonald with PETA's parody "I'm Hatin' It" logo, a
"bloody" plastic chicken, and a "Chicken McCruelty" T-shirt wrapped up like a
sandwich."

Sounds nice, huh? Have a look.

Most kids freak the hell out when they see a normal clown... Peta thinks this nightmare-inducing parody is not only acceptable but wonderful.
The blood splatters are a nice touch. Nothing like traumatizing innocent children in the name of a few chickens, huh?

How about the "Unhappy Meal" toys with slit throats?

More blood and gore... Because as we all understand, it's better to give some kid screaming night terrors than a burger.
And this, mind you, is right outside. No protecting your children from it, even if you only happen to be driving by! You don't even have to buy McDonald's for Peta to torment and terrorize your children - you just have to live near one.
I swear to you, if I were going past and my kids were subjected to this sick, demented display I would ram that rubber knife right down that pseudo-chicken's throat. I consider myself a reasonable, peaceful person... but if you ever want to find out what kind of violence I am capable of, try this around my children.

So, in closing.... You Petapeople and your cult can whine and cry all you like about your new label. I think it's more than appropriate. Your twisted priorities allow you to weep for the poor, defenseless animals while showing no remorse for TERRORIZING poor, defenseless human children. I realize actions like this are not why they got the label, but it's a perfect example of why they deserve it.

JOANNA KRUPA - One More Petapeople With More Boobs Than Brains

It's Rule 5 Sunday again!

Polish born Joanna Krupa is one of the world's top models with good reason... the woman is simply stunning.

Peta's Banned "Grace" Thanksgiving Ad -- FAIL

Oh. my. gawd.

For the record, this would do nothing to prevent me eating that bird. NOTHING.

But the kid would be sitting on the porch, going without pumpkin pie, when the bird was gone. (And if you were to ask my kids, they'd tell you yes, that's exactly how I'd handle it.)

Can't you Petapeople just eat your damn tofurkey and leave the rest of us alone? Seriously. I don't go around shoving bacon-doublecheeseburgers down the throats of unsuspecting vegans. (Although I freely admit I would find that hilarious.) Gimme a break.

At least they didn't make the poor kid take her clothes off.

Happy Thanksgiving from... Peta?

Peta has their Thanksgiving message up.

"This Thanksgiving marks the 20th anniversary of the first official turkey
pardon and President Obama will likely carry on the tradition by sparing two
turkeys. Approximately 45 million other turkeys—who are just as deserving of
compassion and respect—must depend on caring Americans to grant them their own
personal pardons."

Not bloody likely. But, as always with these annoying cultists, they go on...

"When turkeys aren't confined to filthy factory farms, they spend their
days building nests, taking dust baths, preening, and roosting in trees. They
enjoy having their feathers stroked and like to gobble along to music."

Not working, Peta. They're still sounding tasty, cute personality quirks and all. Although it DOES bring to mind a semi-famous Thanksgiving prayer, in the words of Milo Bloom (from Berke Breathed's always brilliant Bloom County, for those of you who don't know.):

"Dear lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank thee for the turkey
before us. A turkey, which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird. A social
being, capable of actual affection...nuzzling its young with almost human-like
compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects
to its family."

AMEN! Pass the gravy!

The ONLY way to improve on a golden-brown delicious turkey an Thanksgiving would be...
TURBACONDUCKEN!

I hate Peta and the Petapeople. Sincerely. Can't they all go get nekkid somewhere together and leave those of us who LIKE meat the hell alone?

Barring that... Can I eat them? Please? I know I keep going back to that, but it would solve sooo many problems. The end of their scary "factory farming" books and statistics, the end of cow-fart global warming, the end of "food insecurity" (plenty of vegans to share with the poor) and the end of self-righteous veggie crunchers trying to tell the rest of us what to eat -- they should be happy we'll be emptying the farms! Imagine it -- if we EAT the damn vegans, we won't have to listen to them anymore!

And they're probably made of very healthy, lean meat! Yummy!

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Update: TOFURKEY? Blech. They can't be serious.

Oh, gross. They are serious. And they're giving it away FREE! (Of course, they probably have to. Who's gonna pay actual money for it?) Never mind that it looks like vomit rolled up in... something... like a giant stickless corndog. (How you can not mind that, I don't know... but try.) If you were willing to trade a juicy, crispy-skinned, golden REAL turkey for this abomination, you lose out on the fun of breaking the wishbone! Don't you?

Oh. Pardon me. They also helpfully direct you to a place you can win synthetic wishbones... Plastic, recyclable, "animal-friendly" wishbones. Ten to a pack, no less.

Hunh. Whaddya know... Peta finally made me not want to eat meat. Not because I've gone vegan. Because they've destroyed my appetite for today.

MEAT - It's What Vegans Are Made Of...

This morning I saw a post by Uncle Jimbo at AceOfSpadesHQ titled "Ethical Vegan - It's What's For Dinner"... which of course made me laugh. A lot.

I'm already on record stating if the militant vegans ever manage to take meat off the store shelves, I'll eat them.

There are quotes from an article by another vegan missionary, some of which (predictably) cover factory farming, which is the new veggie cruncher boogeyman. I LOVED this response:

Do you really think if we asked the Serengheti lions they would turn this
method down?

Lion: "OK so you build a fence and then feed the gazelles grass, and then
whenever you get hungry you just go in and grab one for lunch?

Human: "Yes"

Lion: "I'm in"

And apparently I'm not the only one who realizes that the vegan status as herbivore makes them prey...

But I'm gonna have a chat with the Serengheti lions and the rest of the
predator class and tell them you belong on the menu. Free range, organic,
compassionate, twit, low in fat, but chock full of anti-depressants and
self-loathing. I'll pass but I bet the lions love it.

Uncle Jimbo can pass if he wants. But if these grazers ever get their way, THIS carnivore will consider them an acceptable source of protein. Vegan flank steak sounds better than tofu veggie burger ANY day!

TURBACONDUCKEN!

Oh. My. God. I think I just came a little. Seriously.


TURBACONDUCKEN! Step-by-step. MmmMmm. The comments are hilarious, too. My favorites:

Jim Frost: I showed this to my wife and her response was, “Why
not just stuff it in a pig?” My wife is a genius.

I agree, Jim. Your wife IS a genius. Stuff it in a pig and PIT ROAST it for a day. Mmmmmmmmm.

Bob The Chef: The raw product is disgusting, but the final product
leaving the oven is so gorgeous, it makes me want to smother a
vegan in it.

I like the way you think, Bob.

All joking aside, I want to do this. Oh my GAWD, I want to do
this. But more... I want to start with sausage stuffing (in bacon), in a chicken (in bacon), in a duck (in bacon), in a turkey (in bacon), in a pig... in a roasting pit. Get a big ol' pit full of coals and cook it like a caveman! Oh, my!

If I can figure out where I can dig a pit, it's on.

Ahhhhhhhh. Bite me, Peta.

A Vegan Activist Who WON'T Get Nekkid?

Seems Natalie Portman missed the memo.....

Last week, Ms. Portman wrote a blog post at HuffPo about her conversion to veganism.

In her article, Natalie writes: "Jonathan Safran Foer's book Eating Animals changed me from a twenty-year vegetarian to a vegan activist."

In this day and age, it's nice to see young stars still take the time to read, no? She goes on to tell of her horror at the "copious amounts of pig shit sprayed into the air" and worse yet, "the origins of the swine flu epidemic... in factory farms". Never mind that from what I've read the swine flu virus was cooked up intentionally, that business about the pig shit sure was eloquent and thought provoking.

Anyway, my FIRST thought on reading her article was that Ms. Portman had now made herself eligible as an entree, if my warning to the militant vegans is ever brought to bear. And my SECOND thought was... wonder how long it will take her to drop trou (or blou, I suppose) to make her point. I honestly figured it's only a matter of time, right? She certainly sounds like a Petapeople, doesn't she?

Then yesterday, I read another interview with the beautiful Natalie. This time, she was telling V Magazine about her fears that doing nudity on film might be exploited by the online porn industry.

So, of course, my THIRD thought was: "Shit. There goes my theory." You see, after observing for some time how Peta, Petapeople and their like-minded veggie crunchers attempt to make their points, I assumed it was only a matter of time before we had one more nekkid protester freezing her butt off to make us all see the light. (On a side note, I've realized their practice might be hazardous to their health, and maybe I shouldn't be so flip. See, with no meat in the diet, and thus no body fat to speak of, these strippers activists are regularly risking hypothermia to save us all from our appetites.)

Then, I found this:

Ahhhh. See that? My faith is restored. If you just take away her name in the photo and add some catchy tag-line about "This is the only way I wear snakeskin!", then she's well on her way to becoming an official Petapeople.

Except that, as I've said before, Petapeople and their like are proud of -- nay, obsessed with -- their status as mammal. They just loooove to prove it to us, right? And so I was once again forced to question my long believed theory about them. Could I have been so wrong? Have I been blinded by my prejudice toward those who'd interfere with my dinner? Have I harshly judged them all along, assuming veganism and public display of the body went hand-in-hand?

Nope. Pegged it again.

It's sooooo nice to be validated.

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If you found your way here through TheOtherMcCain (Thanks for the link, guys!), please check out the rest of the blog. I'm looking for readers and ways to improve. Thanks for coming!

Give up Meat? Go Vegan to Save the World?

There's a lot of noise right now about the wonders of converting to a vegan or vegetarian diet to save the planet.

Lord Stern in England advocates giving up meat to stop global warming climate change. (They keep changing that to reflect the actual weather, and I can't keep up.) Apparently, cow flatulence is far worse than other greenhouse gases, and we have too much cow flatulence because we have too many cows. (Maybe he should advocate eating more of them?)

Dr. Andrew Weil has written at HuffPo about a new book, Eating Animals, that examines the question of eating factory farmed meat: "The reader is left with a moral dilemma: should I stop eating factory meat and seek out responsibly-raised beef, poultry and pork (exemplars of such farming are the stars of Foer's book), or should I simply stop eating meat altogether?"

Cass Sunstein, our new Regulatory Czar has written the book Nudge, and one of his theories is that America could be nudged toward becoming a vegetarian or vegan nation.

Pffffft.

Now, don't get me wrong... I don't care remotely if people want to eat a meatless diet. More bacon for me! I don't mind it, but I don't understand it. I agree with Denis Leary, who says "Not eating meat is a choice. Eating meat is an instinct." I think even the most devout vegan would change his mind if he was hungry long enough and surrounded by enough tasty protein. BUT, I would never try to convert a vegan to my own diet, and I don't appreciate that so many of them want to "nudge" me into changing to theirs. I'm (somewhat jokingly) concerned that the vegans, the animal rights folks, and the environmental zealots would like to force the issue.

Well, LET ME BE CLEAR! (Like that? I picked it up from a pretty eloquent speaker.) Stay the hell away from my dinner plate! I want to put forth a plain language warning to those who might wish to interfere in my meal-planning:

The day I walk into a grocery store and can't buy a piece of flesh to consume, it becomes open season on the veggie munchers in our midst. That's right. If you take away what I require as a carnivore, I will begin eating the herbivores. They're always telling us how healthy they are on their meatless diets -- I'll bet they're pretty tasty, too! Like when you pay more for grass fed steak! Feast (heh) your eyes on my favorite T-shirt:

And I'd like to say, I don't mean that in a sexy, double entendre kind of way. I've joked for years about eating a Petapeople. (In case you haven't noticed from previous posts, I despise Peta and the brainless sheeple who form their ranks.) Well, if you cut off my supply of meat, I will consider Peta and the other grazers to be herd animals, and thus fair game for barbecue. Thankfully, with all of them on the diet they tout as healthiest, it will probably be better for me than my beloved bacon anyway.

So... Be warned. I support your right to eat, or not eat, what you want. But don't mess with my food. Michelle Malkin said, "The Big Nanny bureaucrats will have to pry the Sonic Bacon Cheeseburger from my cold, dead hands…" and while I agree completely, I'll go one farther:

Take my bacon ONLY if you wish to take its place on my plate.

Get Nekkid For The Cause!

This post combines Rule 5 Sunday with something that never fails to amaze and confuse me...

Seems like some folks think it's not a protest unless you get nekkid (or nearly so) first. I truly don't understand it. I'm not offended, it doesn't bother me... I just don't understand it.

I've mentioned Petapeople before - and I'll mention them again - because they want to bare their bods every time someone swats a fly, but it's not just them. Yesterday, I saw this at TMZ:

Funny... I didn't realize until I saw this that gay was illegal. Hmmmmm. She's already spreading awareness, huh?

Anyway, it makes me curious. Do groups REALLY think this is the best way to represent your message? I mean, sure it gets attention, but does it promote the cause? Any cause?

Here's another example from Zombie:

Maybe I'm cynical. When I see these folks, I never think about what it is they're protesting. I just see someone who wants desperately to be nekkid in public, and uses their personal politics as an excuse. I guess I figure, if you're an exhibitionist, why not just admit and enjoy it? Why wrap it in a disguise of "protest"? It's not like you look any more legitimate cruising down the sidewalk in your drawers - or less - just because you have a sign painted on your tummy.

And NO entry on nekkid protest would be complete without the Petapeople:

This one is actually kind of scary in a weird, Evil-Willy-Wonka-On-Acid kind of way...

Seriously... is anyone more likely to ditch their expensive fur coat because the guy on the left has his pants around his ankles? Is this effective? Petapeople have been taking it off every chance they get since they were founded - and people STILL eat meat, wear fur, and give out M&Ms for Halloween. I think if I were putting forth such an effort - not to mention the risk of catching a cold - I'd want a little more return on my investment. Which is why I believe they just like for a ton of people to stare at them naked. Petapeople are soooo much about nekkid, if you search their site, they actually have a gallery of naked protest photos!

Petapeople (and the lady who believes gay is against the law) seem to think if you shock the hell out of someone, it's the same as getting your point across. I disagree. I think all most folks take away from these protests is that some fool was nekkid in the street. (Although in San Francisco, it probably doesn't even turn heads.) I guess I figure, if you want to change someone's mind, you should hit them with a reasonable argument, not your bare butt. Otherwise, you're simply drawing more negative attention to yourself, rather than the target of your protest. Kind of the way these two will never convince mainstream America to legalize marijuana:

UPDATE: Thanks to The Other McCain for the link! Rule #1 really works! :)

Meghan McCain - The Real Story

I don't follow Twitter. It strikes me as cyber-ADD.... brief bursts of nonsense for the most part, giving instant updates to those with minimal attention spans from those with minimal attention spans. But whether you follow it or not, if you have the internet you've heard about Meghan McCain's breasts.

Seems Ms. McCain "innocently" posted a "fun" picture of herself relaxing with a good book, and can't quite figure out now why it got such a response.

Nothing wrong here, right? Obviously just an "innocent" and "fun" shot to share with the world, right? Never mind that most women don't have cleavage on the TOPS of their breasts without an old fashioned corset or a push-up bra that would torture Victoria into telling all her secrets. Surely, there was nothing staged or intentional about the... ahem... gravity-defying, make-a-comic-book-female-look-underdeveloped, Balloon Boy, ain't-inflation-a-bear squishatude happening in this photo.

But I've put a lot of thought into this. (Probably a sign that I should get out more.)

I think there is something nefarious afoot... er, abreast. I've just felt like there must be more to this story. I can't bring myself to believe that Ms. McCain would be so foolish as to think nobody would notice her... um... assets. She seems like a smart girl, no? There must be a logical explanation for Meghan and her girls being right there in all our faces like that.

So... I've done some research. It's been dangerous, I assure you. There are some secrets we little people aren't meant to know. I have come to a conclusion that is shocking - SHOCKING, I tell ya!

The original photo appears to have been heavily photoshopped. After much digging, I have located the original, and I'll share it with you here. You see, Meghan McCain intended all along for her breasts to be the centerpiece of that now-infamous photo. Oh, yes. It was part of the plan and the program. But after it was released, it was decided by those on high that the real photo could only be bad publicity... so the cover up began. The original photograph (and Twitter image) were heavily altered, and every trace erased -- except for THIS copy.

Ahhhhh......

She's a closet Petapeople! It explains so much.

Time to Protest the REAL Crimes

It's become painfully obvious that many missed the boat on the ACORN scandal as it broke. While a very few members of the new media were there from the start, the rest of the world is still trying to catch up.

Long-trusted news sources have been caught with their pants around their ankles. (Wait… that’s Letterman.) The people whose business it is to get information to the world had diddly. Lawmakers are trying to look tough on corruption as they worry if any of ACORN’s many arms are wrapped around them. Activist groups are scrambling, while their scripted mouthpieces are spinning for all they're worth as they try to explain away what the entire world can see with their own eyes.

But these aren't the big disappointment of the ACORN scandal.

No. To me, there's a group who’s been more out-to-lunch than even the media. A group that is neglecting its own core values and letting down everyone who follows them. It's heartbreaking to see them silent in this time of crisis. It’s been WEEKS, and still… crickets.

I call them Petapeople.

That's right. Peta. Because there is one injustice here that is not being protested. Not one soul is speaking to the crime at hand. Not one nekkid Petapeople is on a billboard declaring the true enemy.

It's James O'Keefe.

That's right. O'Keefe. Because if you watch the videos closely, you'll see he's the only criminal. There is but a single villain in this tale, and it is the evil, sadistic O'Keefe.

I can picture the Petapeople meeting now... Hidden in an underground but stylishly decorated bunker with vegan snack bar, they talk strategy:

OK, people. We've looked at all the videos now. We're here to talk about the real crime, and set up an action plan and assign protest stations.

Let's start with the tax advice thing. As far as I can tell, they got bad advice but no actual tax papers were filed so technically there's no crime.

Next we've got human trafficking. But you see, that's a "human" cause. We here at Peta don't really do "human" causes. And anyway, since none of it was real there's still no crime.

I know, we've got everybody crying about child sex slaves. But again, that's a "human" issue. Not really our thing. And since these girls were imaginary, still no crime.

Secret recording is another topic that's big. But we're not really above that ourselves. Hope it's not illegal.

But none of these are the real crime. The true crime is much more evil and insidious. Most people didn't even catch it watching the videos! The real crime is MURDER! Cold-blooded murder. The evidence is right before your eyes! Do you know how many chinchillas were butchered to make that coat? Do you know how they lived and how they died and how they FELT about all of it?!

Now, go get naked for the chinchillas!


Because the Petapeople are all about naked. Seriously. Every time you turn around, there's some crazy naked Petaperson in a cage, or someone in their underwear stuck to a glue trap, or just stripping for the sheer thrill of it. Well, why aren't there women in Times Square, naked but for befeathered pimp hats, decrying O'Keefe's slaughter? I say we pull the guy in the chicken suit from the scare-the-hell-out-of-little-kids-at-McDonald's protests and have him wear nothing but the pimp hat and a smile! The child sex slaves -- I mean, PROTESTERS -- can march around him with signs that say, "HO, NO! GO FAUX!" and "PIMP MY HIDE!"

Where is Pam Anderson, who at this point has enough artificial components to be classified as a cyborg? Doesn't she have some brilliant insight to offer? Or is she busy opening another Peta-approved eatery? Or Eva Mendez? Hey, Eva! How goes the whole "helping kids battle serious illness" thing? How we coming on that? Or didn’t you get the memo? Petapeople don’t do "human" problems. What about Ashley Judd, coincidentally another one who loves to show off her status as mammal? Can we expect a statement as reasoned and intelligent as those she gave when Sarah Palin opened wolf season? Whoops. Judd isn’t a Petapeople. I got confused because, you see, she’s another animal protester who’s constantly… never mind.

Surely you get my point by now. There is this guy out there, fearlessly parading around in a chinchilla wrap he has the nerve to blame on his poor old grandmother, and NOT ONE HALF-WITTED FULLY-NEKKID celebutwerp is blinking and moving their lips as they try to read and memorize the slogans!

It’s probably better this way. O’Keefe is going to need to concentrate on other things, and won’t need the distraction of being protested. He can probably shut them up if he gets a Petapeople tattoo to show he’s learned his lesson. Or he can take a his cue from Mariah Carey and donate it to Peta. (Which lets us end with yet another example of Petapeople who couldn’t be more proud to be mammalian!)