Sunday, November 8, 2009

A Vegan Activist Who WON'T Get Nekkid?

Seems Natalie Portman missed the memo.....

Last week, Ms. Portman wrote a blog post at HuffPo about her conversion to veganism.

In her article, Natalie writes: "Jonathan Safran Foer's book Eating Animals changed me from a twenty-year vegetarian to a vegan activist."

In this day and age, it's nice to see young stars still take the time to read, no? She goes on to tell of her horror at the "copious amounts of pig shit sprayed into the air" and worse yet, "the origins of the swine flu epidemic... in factory farms". Never mind that from what I've read the swine flu virus was cooked up intentionally, that business about the pig shit sure was eloquent and thought provoking.

Anyway, my FIRST thought on reading her article was that Ms. Portman had now made herself eligible as an entree, if my warning to the militant vegans is ever brought to bear. And my SECOND thought was... wonder how long it will take her to drop trou (or blou, I suppose) to make her point. I honestly figured it's only a matter of time, right? She certainly sounds like a Petapeople, doesn't she?

Then yesterday, I read another interview with the beautiful Natalie. This time, she was telling V Magazine about her fears that doing nudity on film might be exploited by the online porn industry.

So, of course, my THIRD thought was: "Shit. There goes my theory." You see, after observing for some time how Peta, Petapeople and their like-minded veggie crunchers attempt to make their points, I assumed it was only a matter of time before we had one more nekkid protester freezing her butt off to make us all see the light. (On a side note, I've realized their practice might be hazardous to their health, and maybe I shouldn't be so flip. See, with no meat in the diet, and thus no body fat to speak of, these strippers activists are regularly risking hypothermia to save us all from our appetites.)

Then, I found this:

Ahhhh. See that? My faith is restored. If you just take away her name in the photo and add some catchy tag-line about "This is the only way I wear snakeskin!", then she's well on her way to becoming an official Petapeople.

Except that, as I've said before, Petapeople and their like are proud of -- nay, obsessed with -- their status as mammal. They just loooove to prove it to us, right? And so I was once again forced to question my long believed theory about them. Could I have been so wrong? Have I been blinded by my prejudice toward those who'd interfere with my dinner? Have I harshly judged them all along, assuming veganism and public display of the body went hand-in-hand?

Nope. Pegged it again.

It's sooooo nice to be validated.


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