"You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat" 2.0

On Wednesday, kite boarder Stephen Schafer was surrounded and attacked by sharks off Stuart Beach in Florida. While I realize it's tragic that a person has died, you almost have to look at this as a case of natural selection...

In the days before the attack, beaches were closed in Palm Beach County because THOUSANDS of sharks had been spotted. Turns out, large numbers of sharks are common in these waters at this time of year as they follow migrating schools of fish.





I can't muster up any sympathy.

If you put yourself into an environment where, just by being there, you have abdicated your position at the top of the food chain... well, you have no right to complain if you get eaten. The ocean is just not man's natural habitat. Any adult should be aware that by leaving dry land for open water, not only do you risk becoming an entree but you put yourself at a physical disadvantage to anything with flippers and fins.

There's a simple way to avoid shark attacks. Stay out of their house. At the very least, if you plan to go into the ocean, leave your human arrogance on the beach along with your shoes and remember that you are out of your element. And when there are THOUSANDS of predators right offshore, find something else to do for entertainment.

Lest you think I'm totally heartless, there are some shark attack victims I pity.

The ones who fall out of boats.

And this guy: