Happy Groundhog's Day

Whaddya know....? Phil didn't see his shadow.

Good answer, Phil. You live to see another February. Here's to ya.

Steve Burns and Steve Drozd (Flaming Lips) "Hog the Ground":

They're On To Me...

Or, that was my first thought on reading this headline at GrassrootsPA:

STUFFED GROUNDHOG TO MAKE 2011 FORECAST...

Why a stuffed groundhog? Perhaps they're afraid someone's got an axe to grind with Phil. Maybe they're putting him in a protection program. You remember Phil, right?

Phil's the fat, furry bastard who's still on my list from this time last year. After shovelling my way back to the world, I was ready to do Ol' Phil some serious harm. I even went so far as to look up groundhog recipes. (And they exist. Who knew?)

Anyway... once again this year, my spouse has been trying to convince me to head up to Punxsutawney for the... uh... festivities. It's one hell of a sore spot. I'm willing to drive there, on the condition that when the rat does his thing, I be asleep and warm in the hotel -- no standing outside at the butt crack of dawn for me. (Especially in Pennsylvania. In February. Brrrr.) At least, not without a little "antifreeze" in my veins, if ya catch my drift. BUT, since it's a family event, and requires a drive home immediately after, getting tanked is not an option. Plus, alcohol would only serve to encourage my violent feelings towards Phil.

Long story a little shorter: It's a misleading headline. The link actually goes to this story, about different rodent in a different town. (And might I ask, exactly how many goddamn weather predicting rats does one state need?!)

Heh. And I thought maybe they'd gotten wind of my nefarious plot.

On a side note, we're waiting for a storm that's supposed to bring snow... then half an inch of ice... then more snow. Ol' Phil's due to do his thing in a coupla days... He'd better get it right this time.

Very loosely related: Hey You Dang groundhog!

Hey, you dang groundhog!

Heh. THIS is my absolute favorite commercial:



"Hey, You dang woodchucks!"

OK. I freely admit to being an overgrown 7 year old. I swear I crack up every time I see that.

But you know what it reminds me of? Another famous rodent. One I'm not too keen on. One I still bear a grudge, nearly a year later.

Yes, Phil. I mean you, you fat bastard.

Now, I already posted about what I'd like to do to ol' Phil... complete with a link to the recipe. Imagine my surprise -- nay, my almost speechless shock -- when the one person who is supposed to know and love me best looked me right in the face yesterday and asked:

"Hey! I'm pretty sure I could get the time off, paid. Wanna go to Punxsutawney for Groundhog Day this year?"

No. No, I do not want to drive for hours so I can stand outside freezing my parts off in the pre-dawn chill to watch that overgrown rat pop up for eleventeen seconds. It's cold in PA in February! (Heh. I offered to drive to Punxsutawney, on the condition that I be warm in the hotel bed alseep during the "festivities".)

Except... I might like to see Phil. We have unfinished business from the blizzard, after all... Hmmmm.... Spit-roasted groundhog...

I'll keep you posted. If I go, it may end up newsworthy.

Trilogy of Troy

I meant to post something on this around Groundhog Day, but I totally forgot.

Somebody from the Steelers organization should be over here rocking me to sleep for the next few weeks. They scared the holy hell out of me.

THIS is a commercial that ran right before Groundhog Day:



And THIS is the demented little monster from the movie "Trilogy of Terror", which gave me recurring nightmares after I saw it as a kid:



So now I'll have nightmares about a miniature Troy Polamalu. Thanks for that.

A Fatwa On Punxsutawney Phil 2.0

Just two days ago I was advocating the death penalty for a certain rodent meteorologist...

This evening, I see on the local news we can expect another 6-10 inches of global warming tomorrow and Wednesday. (Allow me to point out that these same folks told us to expect 8-13 inches this past weekend. The total snowfall actually exceeded over twenty inches. Hope there's not a pattern I should be aware of...)

Anyway, in my last post about good ol' Phil, I said that every year someone or other tries to drag me to this rat-watching event. For fun. Riiight. Because standing outside in Pennsylvania at 4am in February is fun.

Next year, I'm going.

Oh-ho-ho, yes... I'm going.

Here's Phil in all his fat, furry glory. Take a good look. Good enough to last ya.

You see, I'm upset. I hold ol' fat Phil accountable for this "Snowmageddon" experience.

I've been plotting, and planning... and Googling.

And I've found a recipe for Groundhog Pot Roast.





Gonna fix ol' Phil, so I am.

With biscuits.