Monday, February 28, 2011

Decisions... Decisions...

OK... I'd appreciate some input, if anyone wants to fling some my way.

One of my offspring told me something interesting at the dinner table over the weekend.

Apparently, last week the teachers all showed up in red t-shirts. (Can ya guess where this is going?) When one of the students asked about the fashion statement, they answer the kids received is "We're wearing red to show support for the teachers in Wisconsin."

From what I gather, that was pretty much the end of the discussion.

Now I'm torn.

On the one hand, I'm pissed that the teachers would engage in a political statement at school. On the other hand, there doesn't seem to have been much preaching done, even when they were asked about it.

But why do it unless you expected to be asked? Why wear them at SCHOOL (My kids don't vote. Do yours?) instead of during off time around the community... say, grocery shopping after work? Who was the intended target of this message, if not the kids?

We don't necessarily have a consensus on the issue here at Casa de Scratch. One adult (can ya guess which?) would prefer to vocalize a little disapproval. One considers it over and basically harmless (since the kid in question didn't even know what's going on in Wisconsin until she told us about the t-shirts).

Since the ruckus in Wisconsin (and Ohio, and Indiana...) isn't over, I foresee more displays. I'm considering preemptive action. But... I freely admit, when my kids are directly involved I have no objectivity.

Decisions... decisions...



Have I mentioned this problem?

I'm a chronic insomniac. More nights than not, I end up staring at the ceiling until the wee hours of the morning. Once I finally get to sleep, I can stay there no sweat. But falling asleep? Pffft.

And I gotta say, round about quarter to three (and mind you, the alarm goes off at 6:30), I find myself hating everyone who's sleeping peacefully. Which means most of the western hemisphere. (Yes... you, too.)

So now it's lunchtime, and I feel like an extra in a zombie flick. My skull weighs about 4,ooo pounds, and I can barely keep my eyelids up. I feel slow, stupid and -- most of all -- sleepy.

And ya know the real bitch of it?

Round about 10-11 tonight, it'll start to fade. I'll survive in a somnambulistic state until the house is quiet, then my eyes will pretty much spring wide open...

And it'll begin again.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Femininny Declares "All Women Are Fat!" or something...

(Well, I agree on at least two counts... one of the women in this post is a fatass, and the other is a fathead...)

I recently started following some feminist bloggers, after the Assaunge rape allegations brought their shrieking back to the headlines. I mentioned at the time that I've successfully ignored these "wymyn" (or something) for most of my adult life. Now that they've caught my attention, I can't stop. It's like a train wreck that never ends... Every time you think you've dredged the depths of teh stoopid and whiny wanna-be-a-victim mentality (Yes, wanna. These people choose to see themselves as downtrodden, and therefore they are - in feminist fantasy land, at least.), they amaze me with something new.

This morning, femininny Amanda Marcotte put up a piece taking Rush Limbaugh to task. For calling Michelle Obama fat.

Marcotte actually writes:

"In a patriarchy, all women are "fat", i.e. they take up too much space and have physical bodies that are coded as Other and therefore disgusting."

Um... No.

Not all women are fat. None of the females who reside under my roof are fat, or even moderately overweight.

Michelle Obama, on the other hand, is thick indeed. While she's not morbidly obese, she's a biggun', all right. And the idea that only a man or a brainwashed victim of the patriarchy can see that is ludicrous.

I posted about my youngest daughter's reaction to the First Lady. A healthy, active, fit & trim child, she does not respond well at all to Mrs. Obama's "Let's Move" campaign. The PSAs infuriate her. The very first time she saw the spot, my precocious one yelled at the television:

"Why don't you try it yourself, Fat Ass!"

During our discussion about it, she stuck to her guns. "Why is she telling me what to eat and what to do?! I'm not fat, she's fat!" ("Hypocrisy" may not be part of her vocabulary -- which I'll be sure to remedy -- but she certainly grasps the concept.)

Would this femininny honestly be willing to argue that my six-year-old is a part of the patriarchal oppressor society? Does that make my little girl "The Man"?

--As a side note, this child's stated goal for adulthood is world domination, with herself as supreme ruler of the universe. When she gets rolling about it at the dinner table, it's both hilarious and a little frightening. I can promise the femininnies, despite being born with female parts this girl is no one's victim. She's a badass. You whiners should take a lesson.--

Anyway... I'm not writing this to defend Limbaugh. I'm not really a fan. However, I might point out that while he's also large, he's not telling my kids what to eat.

No, I'm writing this because I am once again astounded by the contortions of logic the feminists are capable of. Admittedly, I'm not mentally limber enough to pull off some of the yoga-poses-of-rationality that Marcotte can accomplish... but her basic premise seems to be that Michelle Obama is a woman (womyn? pffft),and so she is fat because all women are fat because men need to suppress and oppress them and see them as disgusting... or something.

See? Fail. I can't even fake an understanding of this nonsense.

And speaking of mental gymnastics, I would also like to point out (because it amuses me to no end) that Marcotte closes her piece by agreeing with a man she no doubt considers a neaderthalish patriarchal oppressor.

"A vulva is considered so desirable that entire magazines are dedicated just to showing it, but if it has a stray hair or labia that aren't the exact required size, it suddenly becomes culturally designated as disgusting and women are coached to feel so ashamed they should spend tons of money waxing it and even getting surgery to "fix" it."

Robert Stacy McCain:

(on surgery)
"Ouch. And, honestly, what a tragedy. I’m struggling to find a way to say this in a PG-13 way, so I’ll just say it: Lots of guys like that extra helping of cauliflower. IYKWIMAITYD.

More to the point, form follows function, natural is better, and it’s bizarre to think that women now fear being judged by the aesthetics of their genitalia."

(on waxing)
"I hadn't seen a Playboy magazine in a long time until a couple years ago when, by happenstance, I encountered someone's collection of recent issues and was stunned to discover that deforestation of the pubic delta had become de rigeur...

There is something bizarre (and arguably wrong) about glorifying an "ideal" that has no naturally-occurring example."

Heh. Now I have to figure out whether RSM is a femininny, or Marcotte is a patriarchal oppressor.

(Interestingly, in comment #6, Marcotte uses the term "butthurt", which would seem to put her in the "Rape Culture" camp she's always bitchin' about. It's official... she's a tool of the patriarchy. Pun intended.)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The So-Cons have Finally Gone TOO FAR!

We've all seen the headlines.

Uproar over teh gayz at CPAC... A Governor who drew fire from his own party because he suggested a truce on social issues... Another Governor/Prez-hopeful who announced that if he's elected to the top spot he'll work to reinstate DADT... The suggestion that atheism is to blame for the Tuscon shootings... Or how about the very notion that a man who compared homosexuality to sex with animals might have a shot at the Republican nomination?

Yes, there have been disturbing signs that the social conservatives are getting out of control.

And now, via Memeorandum, I see that they're stepping it up. Once again, so-cons are trying to criminalize victimless interactions between consenting adults based on nothing more than some lame moral superiority complex.

So never mind that prostitution is the world's oldest paid profession. Never mind Nevada's long tradition of sin as business. And never mind minding your own beeswax. The so-cons won't be stopped. Their next big priority is making said oldest profession illegal in the last place it is legal!

Huh? Say what?

It's actually Harry Reid (D-umbass) who's proposing this?! In the name of jobs?!

Bwahaha! Hey, Reid... What about the prostitutes who'll be forced to join the Nevada unemployment rolls?

Seriously now. I'm a libertarian. I say legalize it everywhere. It's yours... if you wanna rent it out, I think that's yer business. I'm of the firm opinion that if the persons involved are over the age of consent, the government has no place in the discussion.

And I just have to laugh at this. I'm accustomed to my ideas not always flying with my friends on the right. I understand where their opinions come from on this, even when we disagree. I get why we disagree, if you see my point.

But this? Oh, no. I don't get it at all. Reid actually said:

"If we want to attract business to Nevada that puts people back to work, the time has come for us to outlaw prostitution."

Yeah! That's logic! Bring in jobs by making employed individuals into unemployed criminals!


Maybe I do get it...

"Unemployed criminals"? Hmmm. When you add those folks to the organized workers, you've more or less accounted for the Democratic voting base, no?

Mystery solved!

Harry Reid is a genius!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Born to Blog?

So... I've been expanding my horizons.

I decided to try something new. I started a blog because I love to write, and I'm always ranting about something anyway. Someone (who presumably got tired of listening to all those rants) suggested I - the Luddite - blog them. And here I am.

I didn't start a blog to make a million dollars. The idea never occurred to me until I read RSMs Underpants Gnome scheme. I started it to rant.

But, hey... We all gots bills, right?

The truth is, I'll probably never see a dime from this site. And that's cool. I don't have the discipline to become an aggregate site (wouldn't interest me if I did), and the circumstances of my real life will never let me be an in-the-field newsie (which also doesn't much interest me). And, if I'm being honest, I think most of the people who are going to make money blogging are already doing it.

But, still... there's those bills, right?

So I started writing some (I thought) straight pieces, and submitting them for web publication. (And pay, let's not forget that part.) It was a topic I'm interested in and knowledgeable about, and I'm at least relatively literate. I'm not too lazy to do actual research. Maybe I could make a buck or two doing something I love -- something I do even when nobody pays me. Great idea, no?


I keep getting rejected. For being opinionated. Who'da thunk?

I took one piece in particular and picked it apart. I rewrote, reworded, and rethought it all until I was positive nobody could read it as anything but a straight, factual article, loaded with statistics and quotes and all that happy crappy. (Mind you, I did this like three friggin' times.)

I bounced back to me again. "This is a very well written and fact-based opinion piece." Which is unacceptable, and therefore rejected again.

Sigh... I give up.

Maybe I'm just born to blog. Apparently, I'm such an opinionated asshole that even when I think I'm writing plain, inarguable facts my opionated asshole self just shines right through.

Guess you're stuck with me...

Monday, February 14, 2011

Infected, Dejected... and Feeling Disrespected

I hate computers.

Seriously, I've never pretended to be anything but a Luddite. Machines (especially computers) infuriate me. One of my favorite authors has ranted in numerous author's notes about what he calls "the perversity of the inanimate" - how machines and especially computers wait and watch for a chance to screw you over. I agree completely... they cause me frustration intentionally, I am convinced.


I got a virus. Or a trojan. (Funny... I thought trojans existed so you don't get viruses... whatever.) Either way, I got one of those fake viruses that scams you into buying the fake antivirus by popping up porn all over the computer. Left some really interesting shortcuts on the desktop, too.

As a side note - I hate you hackers. I hate you more than the viruses you create. Why don't you get the fuck out of your mom's basement, get a real job, and stop making my life more diificult?!


So I downloaded one of those zappers that's supposed to remove viruses. And, along with the virus or whatever, it appears to have zapped the hell out of every file that was infected. Or something. Now my registry is broken - or something - and I don't even remember having registered for anything.

Did I mention I have more than one computer? Yeah. And two of the three are now wonky. And I am woefully unqualified to do anything about it.

One of them may be toast. When nothing else worked, I attempted the Fonzie method of electronics repair. (Yes, that's right. I hit my computer really hard. Hard enough to hurt both of us. Would you believe it didn't work? Now it won't even turn on.)

The other (this one) seems capable of most tasks. It can blog anyway. (Yes... I blog on a computer that I don't know how to fix.) But I have no sound on YouTube (indeed, it no longer recognizes its own speakers are even connected) or anything else.

And I don't know how to fix it. Any of it. Grrrrr!

This is my punishment for hubris. You see, the third (and only working) computer crapped out on me last month. After much searching online, I found out all I could do was back up the hard drive and reinstall the OS. I found a tutorial, slaved that hard drive to one of the other (now broken) computers, and ta-daa! All fixed! (Well, there was more work and profanity involved than that, but you get the idea.)

And then I got all full of myself. Thought I was the local IT expert or something.

And life sent me a virus from hell to remind me that I'm not all that when it comes to these damnable contraptions.

I'm only writing this so that if you see a news story about it, you'll know it was me. It'll probably start something like this:

"Innocent victims say there was no warning before the monitor crashed to earth, taking out the mail man and followed by broken glass tumbling from the second story window. Screaming and profanity shocked the neighborhood. A second monitor narrowly missed the police, who were called in to subdue a homeowner gone mad."

So... if you see that, send money. I'll need help with bail.

Or leave me to rot. I'm guessing there are no computers in jail. Maybe I can get some peace.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Sexist Santorum and Clueless Cupp

I caught the same Santorum headlines as the rest of the world... Rick Santorum making reportedly disparaging (does he make any other kind?) remarks about Sarah Palin and CPAC, and her comeback remarks.

Now, I have never been keen on Rick Santorum. I was unfortunate enough to have him as my Senator, and looked forward with glee to the day I could vote against him. (I hope you Republicans remember that in 2012. This asshole was voted out for good reasons. If you try to run him for the big job, not only will I personally vote against him, I'll get off my lazy ass and work to make sure others do as well.) I consider him arrogant and insufferable, and once blogged that he's a sanctimonious prig.

So when time permitted, I watched the interview with conservative darling S E Cupp to see for myself what he actually said. I intended to eviscerate him verbally (there's some new civility for ya) because... well, because he gave me an excuse. And I just don't like him.

I found a pretty good round-up of the continuing story at Caffeinated Thoughts, which includes Sarah Palin's rather amusing remark: "...I will not call him the knuckle dragging neanderthal that perhaps others would want to call him. I’ll let his wife call him that instead."

The piece ends with this statement:

In all of this I think the true winner is S.E. Cupp who received a lot of publicity for her first radio show.

Ugh. I couldn't possibly disagree more.

Oh, not about the publicity. I'm sure she'll get plenty of that. But, in my humble opinion, Cupp really shit the bed.

I'm no fan or proponent of feminism from a liberal standpoint. I believe I've made that clear enough. But I AM am firm believer in treating everyone equally.

So I was gobsmacked to watch a female journalist nod and grin and bob her little head through the following exchange about CPAC:

SEC - You wouldn't have turned it down.

RS - I wouldn't have turned it down. But you know I don't live in Alaska... and I'm not the mother to all these kids, and I don't have other responsibilities like she has...

SEC - (through RS statement) Yeah. Right. Right. Mm-hmm.

RS - ...and other opportunities that she has to... uh... for... uh... like I said, other business opportunities that may be in conflict with what she was asked to do.

SEC - Right. But I was looking over your schedule... (blah blah blah...) Do you just really like airline peanuts or is there a method to this madness?

Are you shitting me?

A former Senator, Presidential hopeful, pompous ass and FATHER OF SEVEN makes a remark about Sarah Palin being busy because she's "the mother to all these kids" and you let it slide? My personal hypocrisy meter damn near popped a spring, and the silly grin on your face didn't even flicker?

I realize S E is probably no more a feminist than I am. In fact, she once said "taxes affect my day-to-day life a lot more than reproductive rights do". But come on, girl! Were you so eagerly anticipating your little peanut joke that you didn't listen to the man's words?

I watched the clip of their interview expecting to come away pissed at Santorum. That's my usual response when sounds come out of his mouth. But I have to say, I think Cupp was the bigger disappointment. Really -- if a conservative woman can't be counted on to defend the equality of other conservative women, then who can? (Heh. Me, I guess.)

I looked back at other things Cupp has done to get an idea if she has any coherent stance on this topic. I found a clip where she pays very brief lip service to the mistreatment of women during the 2008 campaign... while doing her hair and makeup.

I dunno... I would hope that most conservative women - feminist or not - would disapprove of, nay... be insulted by Santorum's thoughtless and inherently sexist remark. If so, they should by extension be disapproving of and insulted by Cupp's failure to notice it and call him out for it.

I, for one, am less than impressed. Pfffft.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Searching For A Pregnant Man?

OK... I gotta ask...

What the hell is going on?!

Almost year ago, I did a post about two pregnant (not) men.

Let me clarify. Pregnant? Yes. Men? No.

Anyway, for the last week, that post has been getting a strange amount of traffic.

Since she hit the blog in November 2009, the lovely Megan Fox has been one of my top traffic generators, pulling hits every day since she appeared here. I've gotten used to seeing her in the top or near-top position. (What that says about the draw of my writing as compared to the draw of boobies... Well, I'm not gonna put too much thought into that.)

Regardless, Ms. Megan has been bumped out of the top spot. Several days running. By pregnant men.

I can't figure it out for the life of me.

So somebody... anybody... If you ended up here by searching pregnant men, please enlighten me. Is there another dude due to deliver? Has a new man-mommy materialized?

Why the hell are you suddenly finding your way here? My curiosity is killing me!

Our Goalie's Nuts

We don't often have sports posts round these here parts. Matter of fact, this might be the first and last...

But you know how it is.

I saw something. It reminded me of something else. I followed another train of thought down its winding, twisting track... and end up blogging.

Anyway, this morning I saw a clip of the Penguins goalie Brent Johnson doing his best impression of a heavyweight boxer. Heh. ONE hit:

Now, I didn't watch the actual game, so I missed it live. (I'm actually more of a Devils fan... but fer the luvva gawd, keep that under your hat. I live deep in the heart of Penguin country. Not coincidentally, that's also the heart of the "Stiller Nation", where I'm already a bit of a pariah because I'm not a Steelers fan and I don't "bleed black and gold". I rarely talk sports around here because... well... I'm not crazy. These people are deadly serious about their sports.)

Blah, blah, blah... Anyway, the video reminded me of a WDVE/Scott Paulsen classic written in 1997 and dedicated to the Flyers:

From the song:

Our defense sucks.
Our goalie's nuts.
And all our fans
Are drunks and sluts.

Now, when that was written, the Pens goalies were Tom Barrasso and Ken Wregget (my favorite Penguin goalie... and he was nuts), but although it's out of date, it's still the first thing that came to mind.

And whaddya know... Fifteen years later, the song still makes me grin.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Happy Groundhog's Day

Whaddya know....? Phil didn't see his shadow.

Good answer, Phil. You live to see another February. Here's to ya.

Steve Burns and Steve Drozd (Flaming Lips) "Hog the Ground":