Thursday, October 29, 2009

Give up Meat? Go Vegan to Save the World?

There's a lot of noise right now about the wonders of converting to a vegan or vegetarian diet to save the planet.

Lord Stern in England advocates giving up meat to stop global warming climate change. (They keep changing that to reflect the actual weather, and I can't keep up.) Apparently, cow flatulence is far worse than other greenhouse gases, and we have too much cow flatulence because we have too many cows. (Maybe he should advocate eating more of them?)

Dr. Andrew Weil has written at HuffPo about a new book, Eating Animals, that examines the question of eating factory farmed meat: "The reader is left with a moral dilemma: should I stop eating factory meat and seek out responsibly-raised beef, poultry and pork (exemplars of such farming are the stars of Foer's book), or should I simply stop eating meat altogether?"

Cass Sunstein, our new Regulatory Czar has written the book Nudge, and one of his theories is that America could be nudged toward becoming a vegetarian or vegan nation.


Now, don't get me wrong... I don't care remotely if people want to eat a meatless diet. More bacon for me! I don't mind it, but I don't understand it. I agree with Denis Leary, who says "Not eating meat is a choice. Eating meat is an instinct." I think even the most devout vegan would change his mind if he was hungry long enough and surrounded by enough tasty protein. BUT, I would never try to convert a vegan to my own diet, and I don't appreciate that so many of them want to "nudge" me into changing to theirs. I'm (somewhat jokingly) concerned that the vegans, the animal rights folks, and the environmental zealots would like to force the issue.

Well, LET ME BE CLEAR! (Like that? I picked it up from a pretty eloquent speaker.) Stay the hell away from my dinner plate! I want to put forth a plain language warning to those who might wish to interfere in my meal-planning:

The day I walk into a grocery store and can't buy a piece of flesh to consume, it becomes open season on the veggie munchers in our midst. That's right. If you take away what I require as a carnivore, I will begin eating the herbivores. They're always telling us how healthy they are on their meatless diets -- I'll bet they're pretty tasty, too! Like when you pay more for grass fed steak! Feast (heh) your eyes on my favorite T-shirt:

And I'd like to say, I don't mean that in a sexy, double entendre kind of way. I've joked for years about eating a Petapeople. (In case you haven't noticed from previous posts, I despise Peta and the brainless sheeple who form their ranks.) Well, if you cut off my supply of meat, I will consider Peta and the other grazers to be herd animals, and thus fair game for barbecue. Thankfully, with all of them on the diet they tout as healthiest, it will probably be better for me than my beloved bacon anyway.

So... Be warned. I support your right to eat, or not eat, what you want. But don't mess with my food. Michelle Malkin said, "The Big Nanny bureaucrats will have to pry the Sonic Bacon Cheeseburger from my cold, dead hands…" and while I agree completely, I'll go one farther:

Take my bacon ONLY if you wish to take its place on my plate.

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