Unintended Consequences

I'm prone to ear worms.

Y'know... when a song gets stuck in your head, playing in a loop, until you think you'll go mad. I've mentioned this problem before.

Scientists think they could be caused by anything from brain tumors to schizophrenia to genius. (I'm going with genius. And if the other voices in my head don't pipe down about it, I'm gonna beat them into submission.)

Anyway.

I made a terrible error today. I posted that Minchin song.

When The Kid played it for me (not having seen my anti-feminist rants) it struck me as fate. That song HAD to go on the blog, right?

Yeah. Except now it's stuck in my head. For the last coupla hours, I keep breaking out randomly with, "Fuck, I love boobs, though!"

Some of you are laughing harder than others right now.

I gotta do something about this.

Lubbly.

They're all jubbly; They make me feel lubbly

Heh.

My oldest just pointed me to something that, in theory, may have helped me overcome my total opposition to feminism and its destructive tenets. Thanks, Kid.

From Aussie comedian humanitarian guru Tim Minchin comes the haunting melody "Confessions". I've now seen the light regarding feminism, poor people and the environment.




We're just fucking monkeys in shoes.

Hey, you dang groundhog!

Heh. THIS is my absolute favorite commercial:



"Hey, You dang woodchucks!"

OK. I freely admit to being an overgrown 7 year old. I swear I crack up every time I see that.

But you know what it reminds me of? Another famous rodent. One I'm not too keen on. One I still bear a grudge, nearly a year later.

Yes, Phil. I mean you, you fat bastard.

Now, I already posted about what I'd like to do to ol' Phil... complete with a link to the recipe. Imagine my surprise -- nay, my almost speechless shock -- when the one person who is supposed to know and love me best looked me right in the face yesterday and asked:

"Hey! I'm pretty sure I could get the time off, paid. Wanna go to Punxsutawney for Groundhog Day this year?"

No. No, I do not want to drive for hours so I can stand outside freezing my parts off in the pre-dawn chill to watch that overgrown rat pop up for eleventeen seconds. It's cold in PA in February! (Heh. I offered to drive to Punxsutawney, on the condition that I be warm in the hotel bed alseep during the "festivities".)

Except... I might like to see Phil. We have unfinished business from the blizzard, after all... Hmmmm.... Spit-roasted groundhog...

I'll keep you posted. If I go, it may end up newsworthy.

And then there's THIS guy...

Keith Olbermann has his little segment where he features the "Worst Person", and in typical liberal hyperbolic fashion, it's usually someone who isn't doing actual harm -- Bristol Palin comes to mind. When I think "Worst Person", I think of the kind of people whose life mission seems to be spreading unhappiness and pain -- Keith Olbermann comes to mind. (Couldn't resist.)

And then there's THIS guy...

PA's own "Dirtbag of the Century" award is locked up.

Jody Lynn Bennett, 37, is accused of stealing. From a coffin, during funeral services.

Bradley David-McCombs Jr., who was 17, died in a car accident on Christmas Day. In his coffin during viewing were a couple of GameBoy consoles and a few tapes. Bennett stole all of it, and fled when confronted.

...sigh...

These poor people. Not only did they lose their son... they lost him on Christmas Day. That would be all the heartbreak any family needs.

And this asshole decided to give them just a little more.

I hope this guy gets caught. And after he's caught, I hope they throw the book at him -- or beat him to death with it. Short of that, it is my sincere wish that this no-good motherfucker gets absolutely brutalized in jail.

Jody Lynn Bennett. I hope his name becomes synonymous with shit. I hope by this time tomorrow, the entire world knows his name and face, and he can't find a rock to hide under.

Jody Lynn Bennett. May karma bring you exactly what's coming to you.

Feminists: Snake Oil Saleswomyn

Well, I've certainly learned a lot in the last few days.

When I picked a name for this blog, I was trying to reflect what it is I wanted to write about. What "Makes My Brain Itch". By that, I meant the things I see or read or experience that stick in my head and buzz around in there, occasionally distracting me, but always sticking with me and demanding to be considered from one angle or another.

Well, feminism makes my brain itch. More than that, over the past week there've been moments I'm tempted to lay my head down beside the keyboard and pour a bottle of Drano in one ear. (Don't get your hopes up, I'm speaking metaphorically. Sorta.)

I've known for most of my adult life that I disagree with the basic tenets of feminism. That's because, to my mind, it's not about uplifting women to equal status but about knocking down men. When I saw a blogger I generally enjoy being set upon by feminists for remarks about the Assange rape accusations, I jumped in -- not because I'm a member of any RSM hallelujah choir, but because the attacks seemed unfair. (I've yet to meet a person I would consider a supporter of rape. It seemed, and still does, a disgusting remark to make about someone.)

Next thing I know, one of the feminists I linked is tweeting about me. (And, by the way, in case you didn't know... I'm an assface blogger. Are tolerant liberals sweet? And this from a blogger who prides herself on living "cruelty free"!) I wouldn't mind the tweet... if it wasn't bullshit. According to The Opinioness of the World:



Except I didn't write that. Nor did I imply such a thing. Go read what I wrote.

Getting an idea how they work yet? I am. Now.

An exchange with another feminist ended abruptly when I told her I don't believe in rape culture.

I don't believe in rape culture. Hadn't, in fact, heard of such a thing until I started following the tweets on #mooreandme #rapeinmedia and #rapeculture. But, in fairness, I went looking to learn more about it. (I was helped by this post at American Power, where Donald Douglas was apparently in a similar position. Interesting links... including this primer on Rape Culture 101.)

Turns out, the problem is me.

I once wrote about David Brooks, and his thoughts on the educated class versus the ignorant, uneducated yahoos like myself. Well, it turns out that the reason I can't grasp feminism - or rape culture - or patriarchal society - is also that I'm ignorant. That's right. Per Melissa McEwan:

"And just like how people who speak Arabic are better translators of Arabic than people who don't, people who have immersed themselves in the critical theories of gender are better translators of what is and is not sexism."

See that? I don't understand sexism because I didn't waste tens of thousands of my parents' dollars sitting through "Womyns' Studies" programs. Because I have not sufficiently immersed myself, I'm a piss-poor translator. Or something.

What horseshit.

I've been a living, breathing human being for several decades now. In that time, I've been an avid observer of my fellow humans. I'm pretty sure if I were actually living in a culture of oppression, I'd have noticed -- with or without a college degree.

And I'll tell ya something else: I don't need a college degree to know that twisting someone's words to portray them as saying something they didn't makes you a damn liar. (That's right, Opinioness. I'm talking to you.) I see now that it doesn't matter what Stacy McCain originally said. Why? Because it doesn't matter what I said. They misrepresent in an attempt to create a villain, because you can't have a victim without one.

These women have invested time and money into being taught to think like victims. But when you believe that the world is against you, when you buy into some cultural conspiracy to hold you back, you are creating a problem where there doesn't need to be one.

Assange himself, in a recent interview, said "I fell into a hornets' nest of revolutionary feminism." I gotta say, from my reading the last few days, everything about feminism is starting to look like a hornets' nest. And I'm learning that if you bump that nest, they'll try to sting you. (Ask Moe Tkacik.)

I'm going to wrap this up by reiterating a previous statement:

There is nothing wrong with women making wise choices. I'm not trying to bring women down by saying that they should be smart enough to asses their situation, that's a compliment. I clearly have more faith in individual women than your average feminist. You will never succeed in making the world a harmless place, so there is no shame in being aware of and cautious about real dangers. I tweeted (to zero replies):

"Does being a feminist mean you have to check your brain at the door?! Just because you SHOULDN'T be raped doesn't mean you WON'T be! Think!"

I stand by that. The feminists can chirp all they want about a rape culture, but it's the culture of willful blindness that's more dangerous to women. They know that. It's why they're reduced to lies and misrepresentations. Feminists are snake oil saleswomyn, and what they're selling is victimhood.

Feminists are more dangerous than Assange and McCain combined

So, yesterday I put up a piece about fact that Julian Assange stands accused of rape (based on the loosest possible interpretation of the word), and yet RSM of The Other McCain is the one on trial. In my opinion, it's actually more of a witch hunt, but be that as it may...

I was so pissed by the feminazi responses to his posts (and the comments on their blogs) that I didn't really address the original statements that stirred up the trouble. McCain has "walked it back" a bit since his first remarks... but should he have?

I don't think so, anyway.

He's simply saying that:

"If you tumble into a random hook-up with no prior knowledge of the guy’s reputation and he turns out to be a selfish brute whose standard modus operandi is repulsive, dangerous or painful, in what sense are you a victim of anything except your own stupidity?"

Some activities carry inherent risk. Among them, getting into a private (even if not sexual), secluded situation with a near stranger. Sure, you have the right... But it is wise? Is it safe?

You have the right to live in a trailer in Texas. Odds are, you won't get sucked into a tornado. But, c'mon... you've seen The Weather Channel just like the rest of us -- unless your cable was out due to your "house" being stuck in a tree, that is. Your right to do something doesn't take away the risks, which you should plan for accordingly.

You have the right to scuba dive with -- and hand-feed -- sharks. But again, c'mon... you've seen Jaws. You probably won't be devoured even as you drown. But since Peta has been as yet unsuccessful in their effort to make sharks vegan, the possibility exists and should be accounted for.

So sure... You have the right to tumble into the sheets with someone you picked up on brief acquaintance. You probably haven't just locked yourself into an apartment with Ted Bundy's apprentice. Or a serial rapist. Or a raging case of herpes. But the risk is there. Period. And, as above, it should be accounted for in your plans.

If you don't know someone, you don't know what they're capable of. And if you put your safety and health in the hands of someone you don't know, you can't predict the outcome.

The feminists do not want to accept this as fact. They would cry out that women have the right to behave as men -- to sleep with whomever they please, in whatever situation they please. Their disgust with McCain is based on his assertions that such behaviors expose women to risk and possible abuse/exploitation. (Which is completely correct.) The problem with the feminist mindset on this is that it does not take into account basic biological facts.

Men are, in general, larger and stronger than women.

Instead of reminding women of this -- and teaching them to take their risks with this basic thought in mind -- they want to emasculate men so that women are safe to act without thinking and, therefore, without consequence. Women are now equal to men in all ways but biological, but instead of accepting what evolution has produced and encouraging women to plan accordingly, the feminists want to push that inconvenient issue aside and put everyone on a level field. Since they demand women should be able to act without consideration -- and they can't negate the risks by making women bigger and stronger -- they try another tactic:

The pussification of the American male. Feminism has brought about a generation of waxed, moisturized metrosexual men who aren't afraid to cry -- but who would be worthless to protect you from a mugger. (Funny, though... when it comes to "hookups" these soft, smooth, fashionable men are often thrown over in favor of "bad boys", further proving that at a base biological level, most women still desire actual men.)

So, if feminists can't acknowledge the possible risks in stranger hookups, where do they see danger? The following quote is from Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape, edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti, and is lifted from McCain's post:

“While right-wing groups certainly don’t come out in support of rape, they do promote an extremist ideology that enables rape and promotes a culture where sexual assault is tacitly accepted. The supposedly ‘pro-family’ marital structure, in which sex is exchanged for support and the woman’s identity is absorbed into her husband’s, reinforces the idea of women as property and as simple accoutrements to a man’s more fully realized existence.”

Never mind the idea that pro-family equals pro-rape. McCain addressed that. These advocates of "female sexual power" are under the impression that married women use sexual favors as a means to support themselves. Or rather, not themselves, because their selves are absorbed into the self of the husband.

Is there a single married woman in America that doesn't find this idea offensive? In a good marriage, sex isn't exchanged for anything. It's shared. Either these feminists are not married, or they don't know what happens in a good marriage. In their world, a loving husband is far more dangerous and sinister than some stranger picked up in a bar.

While the feminists rant about McCain and his (accurate) statements, they're actually guilty of doing more harm to women than all the McCains, Assanges and even Bundys of the world. By teaching women -- especially younger generations -- that the right to do something automatically makes it safe, they are creating a culture of carelessness... and all the danger that entails.

They want to equate McCain's remarks with the old "she was wearing a miniskirt so she was asking for it" nonsense. That's not what he said. I read his remarks more like this:

If you walk around the zoo wearing a blindfold and accidentally stumble into the lion's cage, perhaps you'd have been safer with your eyes uncovered and your brain turned on. Since you can't make the lion not prefer the taste of flesh, it's in your best interest to see where the cage is and walk around it.

Makes more sense than trying to make a sissy out of the lion so you can walk where you damn please.

____________
UPDATE 12/24: Welcome, readers of The Other McCain! A link from the man himself. Thanks!

While I'm not ungrateful, I'm a little puzzled that he chose to highlight this bit:

Makes My Brain Itch laments the “pussification” of American men. Actually, there’s something more complex at work.

It's the same line Tweeted by one of the feminists I wrote about above:

The Opinioness
…(@scratchermmbi) laments the "pussification" of men, thinks women & their risky behavior bring rape on themselves. #Mooreandme #rapeinmedia

I mentioned that as a side effect... and frankly, I thought it was the least of the points I was trying to make. I guess if that's what you took away from it, fine. I just didn't expect that line to be my thesis statement.


-And a belated thanks to Charles G. Hill at Dustbury, for the link. Welcome!

-------------------------
UPDATE 1/02/11: I see the feminists are popping in from the #mooreandme tag...

Well, since you're here -- and probably aren't going to like what you read anyway -- you may as well check out the rest of my posts on feminism here, here, and especially here. Cheers!

Assange accused of rape, but it's The Other McCain on trial

I may be the only person on the innerwebs who hasn't chimed in on Julian Assange and Wikileaks. I wasn't going to touch it, for reasons of my own. I've followed the coverage of the leaks, the accusations of sexual misconduct and the general blogging on the topic with my mouth shut, so to speak.

But the mini blog war over it, now... That's bringing up some opinions that, frankly, piss me off.

Today at The Other McCain, RSM has a piece in which he responds to an unnamed Republican communication strategist who has sent him some rather pointed (pointless?) questions. The guy is getting hammered on this topic by a number of bloggers and pundits.

Now, let me state right here that I don't agree with everything Stacy McCain writes. He's a social conservative, whereas my own leanings are libertarian. I'm not amused by his stance on the repeal of DADT : "So we now approach the day when uniformed service personnel — including ranking officers — will march in the Gay Pride Parade next to Dykes on Bikes and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence." I disagree with his theory as to why Kim Kardashian is unmarried: "Perhaps someone should share with Kim Kardashian that old-fashioned advice about “free milk and a cow.” (I'm inclined to think it's more that most men don't picture marrying some woman who got nailed on video tape - and all his friends have seen it...) Just two examples.

But I gotta say, on this Assange rape situation, I think he's right on the mark.

It’s a he-said/she-said situation, and how did Assange’s victims get themselves into that predicament? By hooking up with an asshole.

Actually, I think McCain's statements are almost mild. I'm going to go further, feminists and apologists be damned.

I think these women are probably full of shit.

Allow me to put on my fireproof suit and elaborate...

I went back and reread the Guardian piece about the police report and the actual accusations. I have several points that I find troublesome... but you want to know the number one problem I have with it?

Another friend told police that during the evening Miss A told her she had had "the worst sex ever" with Assange: "Not only had it been the world's worst screw, it had also been violent."

That's GOT to be the first time I've heard of a report of rape which included a value judgement on the quality of the sex.

Not only did he rape me, Your Honor, he sucked at it!

Rape is not sex. Rape is an act of dominance and violence. I find it impossible to believe that any woman who has been physically victimized in such a manner would equate it with sex, and then compare it to her other sexual experiences. It's certainly not SOP to ask rape victims whether they came, or whether their attacker was well hung. That little ditty bothers me more than the other tidbits...

Like this:

Miss A told police that she didn't want to go any further "but that it was too late to stop Assange as she had gone along with it so far", and so she allowed him to undress her.

She didn't want to go along, but she'd already gone along so she went a little further. But now it's a problem. Got that?

Here's another:

She had awoken to find him having sex with her, she said, but when she asked whether he was wearing a condom he said no.

Bovine excrement. A condom is noticeable. Period.

OK, last one:

Assange's Swedish lawyers have since suggested that Miss W's text messages – which the Guardian has not seen – show that she was thinking of contacting Expressen and that one of her friends told her she should get money for her story. However, police statements by the friend offer a more innocent explanation: they say these text messages were exchanged several days after the women had made their complaint. They followed an inquiry from a foreign newspaper and were meant jokingly, the friend stated to police.

So the "victim" was joking about the possibility of turning a profit from being raped? Hmmmph.

If these portrayals by The Guardian are accurate, these women have zero credibility.

Stacy McCain doesn't need me to defend him. (Pity him if he does, as I'm not always reliable.) But the attacks against him are a little alarming. He's been called a misogynist and someone who supports rape - pretty heavy accusations for a guy who even keeps his "cheesecake" posts PG-13. It strikes me as unnecessary and unfair. He says his main point is this:

Promiscuity makes women vulnerable to exploitation, abuse and disease. This is not my opinion, but a statement of fact.

There is nothing offensive about that statement. It's plain truth. These attacks on McCain for making them are not only not helpful, they're harmful. While nobody sane blames the victim in a rape, political correctness must not demand that we can't admit there are risk factors and teach women to avoid them.

As for me, I'm also not implying that Assange's accusers asked for or deserved it.

I'm flat out stating that there's something fishy about the whole damn thing, and the reported behavior of these women calls their objectives and actions into question.

So.

Them's my thinks on it.

Fireproof suit off and back on the hanger. Let 'er rip.

-----------------
Updated 12/23: I'm not done. Read on.

It Wasn't Me

Heh. I just saw a news story about a guy who threatened to eat President Obama.

Considering the guy's from Pennsylvania, and I have made repeated threats to commit acts of cannibalism, I thought I should clarify.

It wasn't me.

See, I threatened to eat the militant vegans if they interfere with my carnivorous appetites. Barack Obama is not a vegan. (I've seen enough pictures of him chowing down to know.) So, while I'm mildly amused that someone would threaten to "cut [Obama's] meat from his bones and put them in the oven," then "sit down at the table and start eating," I repeat:

It wasn't me.

Though if he lets his tubby wife get carried away with her healthy eating kick and come after my bacon double-cheeseburger... well... they're both fair game, then.

Hippy Smokes

From the department of What The Fuck...?!

I smoke. You knew that.

I smoke Camels. Regular ol' full-strength, unleaded Camel Filters.

Camels have been on sale. Which is a good thing, because at the rate they tax the damn things, my habit is now more expensive than addiction to crack.

So a sale is a great thing. Buck off a pack, and they have designs on them. Mine feature Sturgis. Pretty fuckin' tough, right?

...sigh... except they were out of regulars. So, with the economy what it is, I opted for a pack of Camel Lights at $1 off. (If I want it stronger, I'm not at all above cutting off half the filter.) Still, works out just fine, right? Right?

Wrong.

Presenting exhibit A:

There's a peace sign on my smokes.

I'm trying to figure out what the hell they're smoking over at RJReynolds. Whatever it is, they don't sell it - if ya get my drift. Why would a cigarette company want to honor a town that would outlaw the Happy Meal? How do you think they feel about smokes?!

Sheesh.

Reminds me of the truck.

Did I mention the truck? No?

One of my spawn drives a pickup. It's one bad little truck. Looks cool, sounds mean as hell, four wheel drive. I love the truck. I love to drive the truck.

Or, I did...

Last time I had the truck, I jumped in without looking closely. I wanted to get smokes (crazy coincidence, huh?) and was in a hurry. As I left the same gas station where I just bought my hippy smokes, I noticed something new about the truck.

She's plastered neon flowers and peace signs on the small windows behind the seats. (They go really well with the camo Army seat covers and steering wheel cover. /sarc. Teenagers are contrary.)

Anyway, I don't drive the truck anymore.

And next time, I'm paying the extra buck for normal cigarettes. Hippies and the economy be damned.

Jason Altmire - A Hooligan?

Yesterday, T at Republican Redefined put up a pretty interesting link... It shows which politicians have requested what earmarks, and labels them "Heroes" or "Hooligans", based on their level of addiction.

So of course, I had to check out Jason Altmire. He's listed as a "hooligan".


I admit to being torn here. I didn't vote for the guy... BUT I could have. When Mary Beth Buchanan threw her hat into the primary ring, I admitted freely that if she won the nomination, I'd vote for Altmire. I ended up backing (and voting for) Keith Rothfus, because I wanted the most conservative candidate possible this cycle.


But the simple truth is -- Altmire's not that bad. He's reasonably centrist, has a good record on veteran's issues, pro-gun, anti-abortion. Someone I know referred to his voting record as "schizoid... this guy's all over the place." I guess that's accurate. But that's also how I vote, so I don't hold that against him either. He wasn't my preference, but I consider him tolerable.


And I'll tell you what I think: THAT'S why he won. Financial differences aside, his opponent made the tactical mistake of trying at every turn to paint him as a liberal. Despite my remarks to Rothfus that they were very similar (moreso than he'd like to admit - and the voters knew it), he attempted to portray Altmire as Pelosi's lap dog. And lost.

Mr. Rothfus... on the off chance you're reading this... I hope you do decide to run again. And I hope you're wise enough to acknowledge the similarities between the two of you while highlighting the differences. It's just smarter strategy.

Anyway, back to the earmarks.

I don't like earmarks, but not for the generally given reason about federal spending. Sometimes, federal spending is necessary and appropriate. My problem with earmarks is the way they're tucked into everything else. If the federal funds are appropriate and necessary, they should be able to pass as a stand-alone bill, no?

Still, I'm undecided on some of Altmire's requests. Examples? Advanced Lightweight Gunner Protection Kit for Lightweight MRAP Vehicle. Collagen-Based Wound Dressing. Transportable Renal Replacement Therapy for Battlefield Applications. These seem like positive things. And if it brings the work to this area? Well, someone has to do it, and this region is in a bad way.

Even this one: National Network of Digital Schools Management Foundation... While I ordinarily think federal intervention in education has been nothing but a negative, I can't get too worked up about this funding. We struggled and busted our butts to get out of a toilet of a town/school district. If I were still there, I'd be very happy to have the cyber schools option.

So, I admit it. I'm undecided on Altmire's requests. I'm open to thoughts, if anyone still reads this blog. Gimme some input.

I'm just not convinced Altmire is necessarily deserving of the title "hooligan".

Hell, half the time I'm not convinced he's deserving of the title "Democrat".

From the mouths of babes

OK. I know I've mentioned I have kids... a whole passel of them. Have I also mentioned (do I need to?) that they're a pack of feisty, opinionated creatures?

Have I mentioned that they're trash mouths? No? Well... for good or bad, they speak much the way I do. Which means they can make a sailor blush. I take a very practical stance on their profanity: They curse to each other, but not at each other. Maybe some folks don't get the distinction. My own mother refers to us (myself, my spouse, my offspring) as the Osbourne Family.

Regardless, my kids are permitted to yell "Shit!" if they stub a toe, but are not allowed to direct their naughty words at their fellow human beings. (I think the harm is in the intent, not the word.) It's a rule that works for us.

So imagine my amused alarm when I had to correct the six year old for this. She was watching television, and Michelle Obama's anti-obesity/get moving PSA came on. (I can't find the one I mean online, or I'd share.) Anyway, this PSA infuriates her. It's almost funny, as the supposed-grown-up, to watch her completely blow her cool every time the thing comes on. But this story is about the first time she saw it.....

I hear, from the living room "Why don't you try it yourself, lady?!" Then some random grumbles. Then "FAT ASS!"

At this point, I get involved. "Honey, you're not allowed to call people ugly names. Who are you yelling at?"

And the response: "The President's wife! Why is she on TV anyway? And she's saying we shouldn't eat some foods and talking about fat. She's fat! Ugly old fat ass!"

My reply: "Whoa! Young lady! You are NOT allowed to talk like that!"

And her priceless reply: "But have you seen the size of her butt? Why is she on TV telling me what I should eat?! I'm not fat! She's fat!"

I couldn't come up with a single coherent argument. My daughter is right. While she happens to be thin and trim, there's this woman with... uh... extra rumpage telling her to eat better and move more. And interrupting the cartoons to do so.

I was reduced to granting her that yes, she may be correct... but no, she still isn't allowed to call people fat ass.

She now refers to the First Lady as "Mrs. Big Butt". I keep quiet.

That's my girl. She may not be big enough to speak her mind with impunity... but she knows a hypocrite when she sees one! I have hope for the future...



Updated 12/17 9:07pm:

I just shamelessly lifted this from JammieWearingFool (where Just A Grunt freely admits to shamelessly lifting it from a liberal site).



OK... let me admit right up front... I'm sick. Heh.


My six-year-old was nearby, and I called her over to have a look at the picture on JammieWearingFool. I asked, "Honey, do you know who that is?"


She replies with a sweet grin, "Mm-hmm. Michelle Obama."


And before I could utter another syllable, she points to the screen and says:


"Fat ass! See! Look at that big butt! What?! It's not my fault she's fat! She's got a big ass head, too! Look at head! Big butt, big head! She looks like a potato!"


I had to send her away from the computer so I wouldn't laugh my ass off in front of her.


A potato? Hoo boy.

You say it's your birthday...

DanananaNANA

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, TOO!

'K... I don't have any idea if it's your birthday.

But it is mine. :)

Send money.

Remember the dancing internet baby?

Yeah. Me, too. He ain't on this post.

So... I'm reading DemocraticUnderground today. (That's me... dragging through the slime pits of the innerwebs so you don't have to. You're welcome.) I find a surprising, nay SHOCKING, discussion thread where a DU member is lamenting "dry humping" as a dance style.

Huh. Who knew the progressives had their share of self-righteous prigs?

ANYWAY, one of the responses had a link. To this.

Content warning: People with real morals and some basic sense of decency will probably be upset at the video. If you're not... don't read my blog anymore. I don't want your kind around here.



My question is:

IN WHAT FUCKING ALTERNATE REALITY IS THIS OK?!

Seriously. There are grown damn women in the video encouraging this... even bending down to let TODDLERS dry hump their asses.

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Stuff like this makes me want to turn in my Membership Card from the human race. Ugh.

Go Fish

Attention, pigmented people!

(Sorry. Let me specify. By "pigmented", I mean black, brown, yellow, red, cafe-au-lait, ochre, olive, beige... any of the range of shades that people come in other than "pasty", like myself.)

OK. Ahem. Once again...

Attention, pigmented people. I have a message from your melanin-deprived fellow humans. (Or rather, from the vast majority of us. I no more speak for all white folks than Jesse Jackson speaks for all not-white folks, "Rainbow Coalition" notwithstanding. But I'm reasonably comfortable speaking for most of us.) Here's our message:

GET OVER YOURSELF.

That's right. Drop it. Shut up about it. Move on.

See, here's the thing some of you just don't get. I (mostly we) don't care what color your skin happens to be. To me, you aren't the black corporate executive... you're just the boss. You aren't the Asian mail person... you're just the jerk who brings the light bill and never my check from Ed McMahon. You're not the Polynesian-American athlete... you're just the guy that dropped the ball. And you aren't the Latina Supreme Court Justice... you're just the new judge... or the younger judge... or, if we want to be crude, you're the fat one on the dais.

Race has always been a sensitive subject in America, but ever since Barack Obama threw his hat into the primary election ring, things have become markedly worse. It's come to the point where you can't even disagree with the President without it being racial division. (And never mind that if only the black people had voted for him he'd have lost -- since, being a minority group and all, there aren't enough black voters to elect anyone without white voters going along. That proves nothing in the new America.)

Now, we even have gajillionaire children whining that race plays a part in their unfair treatment. (That's right, LeBron. I'm calling you a child. A spoiled, immature, very rich brat.) I mean, it's clear that despite his fame, success and exorbitant wealth, LeBron James is a victim of the racist white man. (And by the way... I think it's racist that I don't have a multi-million dollar NBA contract. Forget for a minute that I smoke a pack a day, am relatively short, couldn't dunk a basketball if you put a gun to my head, and am creeping up on middle age faster than I'd prefer. I'm entitled, damn it.)

Or how about this idiot? There's a guy here in PA who is traumatized by a racist symbol he found at work. Ready for it?



Ooooooohhhhhhh! KKK! The bad ol' white man left a Klan Kut-out to send a message!

Except... wait a minute here... Klansmen aren't tapered at the bottom. And despite the victim's assertion that "whoever made it even colored in the eyes with red ink" (meaning, I guess, that they were thorough in their depiction), I don't ever remember reading that albinism was a qualification for being in the Klan. And I damn sure don't remember seeing news photos of Klansmen with red or bleeding eyes.

Well, huh. How do we explain this overt racist intimidation, then? What possible way to make sense of this obvious attempt to scare the black fella? How about...

IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN AND THAT'S A GHOST.

Good grief.

And then yesterday, I read a completely unbiased piece that explains everything that's wrong in the country. White America has lost its mind. Now, if you go read that, bear in mind that it's satire (which -- and I never knew this -- means being just as nasty, intellectually dishonest and insulting as you want, as long as you do it with a wink). So, if you're one of the paler members of society, don't waste time being offended by statements like: "White people have simply gone sheer f*cking insane."

I feel like I'm going sheer f*cking insane, all right. I'm being driven there... By unrelenting, unfounded accusations about my motivations, by "identity politics" and "social justice", by race baiters and assorted haters. And it's so unnecessary, really. I (like all Americans -- hell, like all humans) have been looking at various shades of people my whole life. One is the same as another. Want me to notice someone's skin color? Find me someone green. That will get my attention. For a minute. Although even the novelty of green would fade as soon as I saw a second green person, I believe.

Because I just don't care about skin tone. Most folks don't, it's as simple as that. (And for those of you would believe in your sick little hearts that I'm automatically a racist-in-denial based on my own skin tone... bite me. You're the problem.)

So please... PLEASE... can we get beyond this? Can ya just shut up about it, fer crying out loud? Stop assuming that because you have more tint than someone else, you're a victim. Stop thinking that because someone has less tint than you, they're an oppressor. I once had two cats at the same time, a brown one and a gray one. Neither one oppressed the other, neither one was a victim, and I fed them both from the same bowl. And ya know what? If I'd shaved the little suckers, underneath they'd have both been CAT. Get it?

The next time some troublemaking jackass plays the race card... just tell him to "Go Fish".

Obama: Yes We Can... borrow from those more creative than myself

Heh. Just saw this at HotAir.

Apparently Obama may have lifted his latest whine about critics. From Jimi Hendrix.

Though Obama didn’t acknowledge it, the line was a verbatim quote from “Stone Free,” the first song Hendrix wrote after moving to England in 1966. “They talk about me like a dog,” the song says. “Talkin about the clothes I wear. But they don’t realize they’re the ones who’s square.”

Amusing? Oh, yeah. Surprising? Not even a little bit.

Allahpundit wrote that "The One does like to sneak pop-culture references into his political rhetoric from time to time..."

From time to time? Are you shitting me? This guy's entire POLITICAL IDENTITY is stolen.

What has been the single, no-thought-required mantra of his entire campaign and his Presidency? What is the slogan he chose to be remembered by? What is his message?

YES WE CAN!

And now, ladies and gentlemen... The Pointer Sisters:



And now... the lyrics:

Now's the time for all good men
to get together with one another.
We got to iron out our problems
and iron out our quarrels
and try to live as brothers.

And try to find a piece of land
without stepping on one another.
And do respect the women of the world.
Remember you all have mothers.

We got to make this land a better land
than the world in which we live.
And we got to help each man be a better man
with the kindness that we give.

I know we can make it.
I know darn well we can work it out.
Oh yes we can, I know we can can
Yes we can can, why can't we?
If we wanna get together we can work it out.

And we gotta take care of all the children,
the little children of the world.
'cause they're our strongest hope for the future,
the little bitty boys and girls.

We got to make this land a better land
than the world in which we live.
And we got to help each man be a better man
with the kindness that we give.

I know we can make it.
I know darn well we can work it out.
Oh yes we can, I know we can can
yes we can can, why can't we?
If we wanna, yes we can can.
------

I'm not convinced this national embarassment President has ever had an original thought. Gawd help us, we're being led by someone whose entire personal and political philosophy has been "borrowed" from pop culture. America has actually elected a President with less depth than Paris Hilton. If it weren't so sad it would be funny.

h/t to (of all things) Stephen King. That's right, Stephen King. And to Henry... who only wanted something mindless to block out the Grayboys.

See that? We're living in a horror novel. Or the 70's.
Either way....

My Thoughts On The Ground Zero Mosque

While the rest of the world ignores the topic, focusing instead on Snooki and steroids in baseball, I've been giving a lot of thought to the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque".

Yeah, right. This story is everywhere, and everyone is chiming in. When I opened my email this morning, no less than half of my new mail was somehow related to this topic. Either emailed news reports, or the always helpful and enlightening (/sarc) chain emails one gets from friends and family promoting their side of the hot-topic-du-jour.

For my part, I've been quietly turning the issue over in my mind. There are so many facets to this, and I'm one of those folks who tends to overthink anyway...

And now, my kids are asking about it. Turning to me for my opinion as compared to what they're seeing and hearing in the media and real life. I've had to organize my thoughts, and come up with my best answers for them. So... here's the result of my mental gymnastics, and the gist of how I handled it when I had to present a coherent and reasonable as possible viewpoint to the people who matter most to me. Ahem...

To my mind, there's no question whatsoever as to whether the developers of this would-be Islamic community center have the constitutional right to practice their faith. In fact, I've yet to see a single article stating that they don't. (Although I saw ONE comment on an article suggesting we ban the building of all mosques in America.) And personally, I'm that rare atheist who believes people of faith should be left alone to follow and practice their faith, regardless of the recipient of their prayers.

But... BUT... As many have said in the past weeks, having the right to do something doesn't make it the right thing to do. Take Fred Phelps. Or Code Pink, for that matter. These are people who disgust me with their views and actions. Yes, they have the constitutional right to their views and their displays. No, I would not advocate stifling them. But I do wish they would discover the concept of simple human decency and stop their hurtful behaviors.

Not gonna happen. Apparently, not in New York, either. Next argument.

While 9/11 was national - no... global - it was first (for New York) local. And I'll be frank, I don't know a single person who was lost on that day. While I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing and the fear of the moment, I did not suffer personal loss. I've never even been to New York. That makes it extremely difficult to put myself in the shoes of someone touched on a personal level by 9/11. But that's what I had to do, what we've all had to do.

After thinking about this, reading about this, hearing about this and finally, being asked by my most important audience about this, I've reverted to my initial gut reaction upon first learning about the proposed mosque/center/gym/national ass-ache.

THIS is the first thing that came to my mind. THIS is the mental picture that accompanied the news. And THIS is why I ultimately told my kids I think it's a bad thing... and that while I'm not a New Yorker, I don't think I'd want to deal with this mosque:



This is what happens when a brain dead bureaucrat schedules a photo-op involving a jet and New York. And this screams to me (as it did on the day this little gem first hit the news) that New Yorkers haven't healed. America hasn't healed.

It's the very first thing I thought of. And it's the image that returns to my mind every time I consider the mosque. I can't get past it. While I'm sure there are deeper considerations and subleties I haven't thought of, those frightened citizens running and screaming as their nightmare flies overhead sums up the entire issue for me.

Aussie Man Loses Chunks Of Flesh From Birth Defect

A drunken Aussie lost chunks of flesh in a freak accident caused by complications from a birth defect.

What kind of horrific birth defect could cause a grown man to suddenly, painfully lose great gobbets of meat from his leg?

Ginormous balls.

........................................

In related news, Fatso the saltwater croc chomped an anonymous drunken idiot victim who climbed on his back for a ride. That's right. Climbed on his back for a ride.



The BBC reports that the 36-year-old man, who had already been thrown out of one drinking establishment for his... ahem... level of intoxication, climbed over a fence and sat on the croc.

"Fatso has taken offense to this and has spun around and bit this man on the right leg," Sgt Roger Haynes of Broome police told journalists.

The moron victim underwent surgery and is expected to survive. No word on the condition of his ginormous balls.

This Is OBSCENE!

What is obscene?

Well... It depends on your definition of what the word is is.

Sorry. Wrong bit of self-serving claptrap. But the legal definition of obscene isn't much clearer than that answer. It pretty much boils down to "Depends on who you ask." Nobody asked me, but I'm gonna give you my opinion anyway.

What I consider obscene is that in 2010, the federal government is still bothering to prosecute folks on obscenity charges.

I saw this at ReasonOnline. Did a bit of googling to see if there's other coverage, but the great bulk of it seems to be (understandably) in the adult video sites and forums. Some interesting search results, to put it mildly. Anyways...

John Stagliano is the owner of Evil Angel, which produces and distributes adult videos. You know... Porn.

And he's currently being prosecuted under federal obscenity laws.

Surely there's more to this, right? It can't be possible that in this day and age the federal government has nothing better to do than prosecute people for making dirty movies, right?

Maybe it's because he's exploiting children...? Nope. The movies star and are made for adults.

Maybe it's a violent snuff film...? Nope. Consenting participants.

Maybe, since obscenity is determined by community values, he had upstanding citizens complain to the feds...? Nope. The films were special ordered by the FBI and paid for by you & I.

So where's the problem?

The movies have been determined to be "yucky" by the standards of some self-righteous prig somewhere who happens to hold a gubment position. While I've not watched (Yeah, slacking in my journalistic credibility by not doing all my research), I think the titles were probably enough to set off the yucky-meter for some: "Milk Nymphos" and "Storm Squirters 2: Target Practice".

So... probably not to everybody's taste. I can't imagine my grandmother renting them - not that I'd judge her if she did, mind you - but obscene? Really? Worthy of FEDERAL prosecution?

I'm assuming the feds have balanced the budget. No? How about ended the wars? No again? Hmmm. Cured cancer then, at the very least?

I admit, I'm biased. I could give a damn less what consenting adults do (or watch) in their own homes. I don't see porn as the dire threat to morality that some claim it is. I believe sex addiction is horseshit, and any grown adult claiming they are a suffering victim is truly just a cad with no willpower who refuses to give their frontal lobe control over their brain. I think women who protest strip clubs as a danger to the community are in denial over where the true problem lies. And I think prostitution should be legal and regulated.

But I do find some thing obscene...

I find it obscene that with very real problems facing our country, and a serious economic condition, we're wasting time and tax dollars prosecuting someone for making dirty movies.

I find it obscene that small-minded individuals still want to mind other peoples' business.

And I find it obscene that something made by adults, with adults and for adults - with no acknowledged harm to anyone involved - is considered criminal activity in the first place.

Blah... Blah... BLOG...

Did you ever take something you really, really enjoyed, and just fuck it up totally?

You know...? When you let it go from moderation to obsession? Or when you allow a slight change to snowball until you have something entirely different than you started with?

NO? Well, I did. My little blog here.

See, I'm kind of a politics and current events junkie. I love to pour a pot or two of coffee down my throat in the mornings, and surf the web. Originally, this blog was to be the repository for all the things I saw out there that made me scratch my head (or facepalm) and wonder "What the hell is wrong with people?"

I surfed without discriminating. I've spent as many hours reading DemocraticUnderground and DailyKos as I have The Other McCain and Hot Air. I've also wasted logged countless hours on such mindless drivel as TMZ and PopEater. I love to read - I'll literally read almost anything - and the internet is a vast source to read all manner of interesting and ridiculous stuff.

Somehow, I got caught up in conservative blogging. Now, I have nothing against conservative blogs or bloggers. Rather, I enjoy them... it just wasn't my original intention to join the ranks. I'm more libertarian than I am strictly conservative under most definitions anyway. (A notable exception would be the definition of conservatism I learned at The-Classic-Liberal, where the idea of true conservatism is a lot closer to libertarianism than the GOP might approve... The-CL is a blogger I admire a lot and have learned from. I most often finish his pieces feeling like I didn't know as much as I thought I knew, if ya follow.)

Anyway...

I got too caught up. I made something that had been fun into a drudge (no pun intended). I was starting to feel like Mickey Mouse, when he casts a spell to set the mops and brooms to working. Next thing you know, everything is out of control, and I'm avoiding the blog like I'd avoid a call from the boss on a Sunday afternoon when I'm supposed to be scheduled off.

Not even Peta has been able to draw me back lately. And the little things that amuse me that I wanted to capture have also lost their appeal. Even the Jaws-themed posts have jumped the shark. (See what I did there? heh.)

And politics has begun to annoy me.

I've always been more of a natural critic than a cheerleader anyway. I'm cynical, and rather than a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty type I've been more of a "Hey-somebody-took-half-my-freakin-water" person. And BOY, did somebody drain the cup this time!

The current administration sucks. The prospects to be offered by the "Other Party" don't look any better. Fer Gawds Sake, Rick Santorum wants to run. Depressing. Mitt Romney? Mike Huckabee? Yuck. And I'm sick of Sarah Palin. There - I said it.

I'm mailing out the papers today to change my registration back to Independent. That probably only matters to me. I switched because I would have otherwise been denied the chance to vote in the primary. But I'm feeling surly and disillusioned, and equally irritated by both parties. I've decided that I'll choose a party before each primary, and then go back to Indy before the general elections.

And I'm done trying to be a cheerleader. I don't have the legs for the little skirts anyway.

Will I lose readers? I dunno. I don't know if I have any readers. I haven't even looked at my traffic in months. I do know that I enjoyed blogging more when I didn't give a rip, so maybe that's the secret right there.

Mary Beth, Don't Go Away Mad... Mary Beth, Just GO AWAY!

So...

Last Tuesday, Mary Beth Buchanan got... well... THUMPED here in PA4, and I haven't even been on to gloat celebrate.

I don't have an excuse. Demands on my time have, shall we say "evolved", and I'm still trying to adjust. But now that I have an extra minute or two, please allow me to say a respectful, sincere:

WOOHOO! ALL RIGHT! TOO SWEET! EXCELLENT!

OK. Got that out of my system. (Yeah, right. I was practically dancing a jig around the living room on election night, and have found myself giddy at odd moments ever since. And if you don't grasp why, go read my piece about her when she announced for the race. This is a victory in more ways than one.)

Now it's on to November, and nothing more will be heard from my less-than-favorite former U.S. Attorney. Hopefully. From PA2010's coverage:

After delivering a concession speech and thanking her supporters, Buchanan hugged her husband and told him she’d have a second glass of wine.

Yep. Pour me one, too, Sweetheart! I don't drink... but for THIS, I'll make an exception!

A special "Thank You" to anyone who responded to my post and helped (or just went to learn about) her opponent, Keith Rothfus. He's been called a "true Tea Party conservative", and his win has saved me from voting for Altmire in the fall. I don't agree with the guy on everything, but he was the better candidate, and I'm glad he won. By a 2-1 margin, no less.

Looking forward to November, and hoping we see similar upsets all over America!

-------------
UPDATED to apologize...

I don't know what the hell is going on with my fonts. I've edited three times, and it keeps coming out all wonky. (No, I didn't have that wine. We'll blame Blogger.)

You're Gonna Need A Bigger... Kid?

I give up.

This post may represent the death of the "You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat" bits. I can't see how to top this.

I saw this at Treehugger.com (Yes, I read Treehugger.com. Don't you?) and I gotta be honest. I sorta want one. Not for my kids, but for me. It fits my sense of humor, if ya dig.

(Photo courtesy PatchTogether)

It's a shark sleeping bag. And it's available for the bargain basement price of $199 from PatchTogether.com. Although I gotta be honest (again)... I'm a cheap ass by nature, and a $200 stuffed animal that I can sleep in probably isn't gonna happen.

From the product description (emphasis mine):

In an effort to make sharks (a very misunderstood animal that also happens to be one of my favorites) more cuddly, I designed and produced a prototype for the ChumBuddy.

See, that's where they screwed up. They wanted to make sharks "cuddly". Blech. If they'd gone for full-out realism with bloody teeth and all, I'd have had the Visa card out before common sense (or homicidal spouse) could have stopped me. But they had to get cutesy.



It almost reminds me of the TaunTaun sleeping bag from ThinkGeek. Except even though they went the kinda-cutesy route, they were smart enough to stay true to the film. (For those of you who don't remember, Luke slices open his trusty mount and sleeps in its guts to stay warm.) Check out the liner on the TaunTaun bag:

(Photo courtesy ThinkGeek.com)

Heh. See that? TaunTaun guts. Whoever invented the shark bag should have had a scuba fin sticking out of the teeth or something if they wanted my $200.

(No, I don't have the damn TaunTaun bag, either. I retain some sanity. Maybe. Or I just don't have enough disposable income to indulge my inner eight-year-old... You decide.)

-----------------
VERY loosely related posts:

• You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat
• You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat 2.0
• You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat Part 3
• You're Gonna Need A Bigger -- Ahhh, Never Mind

And looking at that list, I think I'm Gonna Need Some New Material....

You're Gonna Need A Bigger -- Ahhh Never Mind

Forget the boat.




I am at a rare loss for words.


---------------
Loosely related:

• You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat
• You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat 2.0
• You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat Part 3

Peta Protects Pretend Pets

... or something.

So now we know what it takes to draw me out of hibernation. Peta.

No big shock there. I may have mentioned once or twice how I feel about Peta. But they're even more brain-cramp-inducing than even I imagined.

They've bullied convinced Facebook to take the pit bulls out of the game Mafia Wars.

Now, I don't play Mafia Wars. Or the farm thing. Or the fish thing. In fact, I rarely go to my personal page at all, and I pay zero attention to all the critters and weaponry and what have you that my so-called friends keep sending me. (If you're reading this and have sent me a fish or a hatchet or something... I'm sorry. But stop it. Seriously, I'm sick of scrolling past that crap when I make the mistake of thinking I'll spend five minutes checking on old friends.)

Anyway, I've seen other people play the game. And I know you win stuff that helps you progress or raise a level or whatever. The pit bulls are apparently one of those deals. But that's not the point. The point is... They. Are. Not. Real. Dogs.

I think veganism must affect the brain. Maybe all that Tofurkey and soy makes you... well... insane. These are not dogs. They are imaginary. They are little blips of electricity. They are -- never mind.

To add insult to injury, Peta announced it will be:

"...sending vegan chocolates to Zynga founder and CEO Mark Pincus to thank him for his compassionate decision."

GAH! Vegan chocolate? These people can ruin anything.

Am I forgetting anyone...?

President Obama gave a speech attempting to rally some of the folks who helped elect him to get their butts back to the polls for the 2010 midterms.



In the money quote, he urges:

“young people, African-Americans, Latinos, and women who powered our victory in 2008 [to] stand together once again.”

While Drudge is headlining this as “OBAMA PLAYS RACE CARD”, that's not the first thing that came to my mind...

I see no mention of the homosexual community. Not a peep about teh gayz. Odd, when you consider the support they showed Obama and Co. in the 2008 elections, no?

No. He screwed them. They know it, and clearly he knows it.

Wonder how many of them who voted for him will do the smart thing and vote against his cronies in November? Here's hoping the answer is "All of them."

OMG... CAMP OFA

Just got another email from Jeremy Bird BarackObama.com:

______ --

On Sunday, April 25th, we're holding a 2010 Camp OFA Training in Pittsburgh, and I hope you can join.

If you've ever wondered what the most effective ways are to talk to voters, how you can organize events to make the biggest difference in your community, or you just want to learn more about taking on a bigger role in fighting for change -- then Camp OFA is for you.

We'll give you all the skills you'll need to be a more effective organizer -- and then we'll discuss how we'll put those skills into action this year: fighting for allies of the President in the midterm elections this fall, enacting real Wall Street reform, pushing forward a clean-energy economy, and much more.

Please RSVP to attend the Camp OFA training session in Pittsburgh. Here are the details:

blah... blah... blah...

Now, is it overreacting to call this creepy? Seriously, I would have objected to the phrase "fighting for allies of the President" no matter who was in the White House. That's not how it's supposed to work. The executive and legislative branches are equal and separate for good reasons, and the folks we elect to Congress are supposed to be our allies.

This administration and its legions seem more cult-like every day.

I may just go. Know your enemy, and all that...

(Note to self: Pass on the refreshments - don't drink the kool-aid.)

Shut Up And Let Me Talk!

This may be the first campaign ad that ever made me laugh out loud.

Keith Rothfus has produced a commercial for his race against Mary Beth Buchanan. Check it out:



Come May, let's tell Mary Beth Buchanan "Shut up and let US talk!"

And please... consider giving to his campaign. Here's the official site.

Help Keith Rothfus defeat Mary Beth Buchanan... then Jason Altmire

Well, whaddaya know?

I slack off on blogging for a few weeks (burnout - did ya miss me?) and something fantastic happens! Maybe if I take off a couple of months, aliens will abduct most of the current administration or something! OK, that's too good to hope for. But this is pretty freaking cool, all the same.

I've posted before about Mary Beth Buchanan, the former US Attorney who'd like to be my next CongressCritter. Can I be blunt here? (Well, I'm gonna anyway...) I don't like Mary Beth Buchanan. Actually, that's an understatement along the lines of "Pelosi's had a little Botox". The fact is, Buchanan makes my skin crawl. My current Congressman is Jason Altmire (D), and while I'm not the guy's biggest fan, he's preferable to Buchanan in my opinion. But what I'd truly like to see is Buchanan's primary opponent, Keith Rothfus, take the Republican primary and then the PA04 seat in November.

This morning, I see this lovely item on PoliticsPA... In their "Up and Down" post, MBB is going down:

Mary Beth Buchanan. Can she be called the GOP favorite in the 4th Congressional District anymore? The former U.S. attorney, touted by some Republicans as Jason Altmire’s worst nightmare, has had a terrible start to her campaign, capped off by Thursday’s abysmal first quarter fundraising numbers. She was even outraised by little-known Allegheny County attorney Keith Rothfus, who supporters say has outworked his high-profile opponent. After entering the race with baggage attached, don’t be surprised if some Republicans begin viewing Rothfus as a better challenger to Altmire’s seat.

Wonderful news. Buchanan and her GOP cronies have been spouting off about her name recognition before she even officially entered the race. Well, sure she's got name recognition. She's widely known, and widely hated. (Duh. Jeffrey Dahmer has some pretty awesome name recognition. Would you vote for him?)

In addition, Buchanan's campaign manager had to resign recently. Seems he was caught up in the kind of dirty work that Buchanan tried to pin on Cyril Wecht - only seems her campaign manager might actually be guilty. Heh.

...So I'm pretty happy. But I'd be happier yet if I knew this woman was out of the running. If she's able to pick up the fundraising pace, the GOP will continue trying to push her into office. And let me repeat - if Buchanan wins the Republican primary, I'm voting for Altmire.

Now, I realize my little blog here is a fleck in the blogosphere. I don't have the readership or the network to push anything like a Scott Brown moneybomb for Mr. Rothfus, or I'd do it. But I'd like folks outside of PA04 to realize that if Mary Beth Buchanan wins her primary, I'll hardly be the only conservative (hyphenated libertarian or otherwise) who'll vote for Altmire. He is fairly moderate, and has on occasion bucked the Obama administration. We can live with him, if ya get my drift.

So I'm asking... Can you help? Will you help? Do you want a conservative retaking of Congress badly enough to help support a little known, but truly conservative, candidate in this hotly contested district? From PA2010, in Mr. Rothfus's own words (emphasis mine):

"There is no doubt in my mind that voters in this district want real change. They are tired of the Washington establishment, and they want a Congressman who understands business, not another government insider. In every corner of this district, I have talked to men and women who want to have a citizen-legislator representing them and standing up for their values in Washington. With their help, I am confident that we can not only win the Republican primary on May 18 but prevail in November."

THIS is what we need in November. Please, help me help him. Here's the link to the official Keith Rothfus campaign site, if you'd be kind enough to throw a little support his way.

Mary Beth Buchanan can't win this election. She won't win this election. It's going to be Rothfus or Altmire, simple as that. Let's replace the "Blue Dog" with a true conservative, and start changing things back.

Senator Bob Corker - Defeatist Asshole

From the Nashville Business Journal, via HotAir:

Senator Bob Corker (R-TN) appears to have given up on repealing ObamaCare before we even get to the midterm elections.

“The fact is that’s not going to happen, OK?” Corker told dozens of people at Vanderbilt University.

Coward. Defeatist asshole.

I mean that. I hope Corker's voters repeal him. And if they have any guts, they will.

Still, Corker made clear his opposition to the legislation and spoke in favor of continued, incremental legislative reform in future years to correct problems he foresees.

Continued, incremental legislative reform? Are you kidding me? For gawd's sake, can't you at least pretend you'll try?! Whining that you'll need 67 votes to kill Obama's veto doesn't cut any shit with me. START voting to repeal it in 2010, and build momentum enough to kill it for good in 2012 when we vote out Obama, if that's what it takes!

Fair warning, those who would have MY vote -- Don't dare try to tell me I have to roll over and accept this monstrosity! You better at least have the stones to stand up for America and make the effort!

I hope my fellow Americans are smarter - and ballsier - than this "politician". I'm DONE with compromise, and I'm DONE with weasel DC zombies who talk out both sides of their mouths. I'll vote third party if that's the only way I can get a candidate with some guts (something I've never done) and we should all do the same! Send a message to the Republicans that if they won't stand up for us, we'll find someone else who will.

I couldn't care less anymore what effect a third-party vote will have on the Republican candidates. Near as I can tell, precious few of them could care less about doing the right thing by us -- and fighting this to the bitter end.

The Beef Jerky Got Me

Oh. My. Gawd.

I think I just threw up a little.

From The Palm Beach Post comes the story of Jabba The Hut 38 year old George Jolicoeur, who plead no contest to charges of felony petty theft.

Jolicoeur, who tips the scales at SIX HUNDRED POUNDS (thank gawd he's not in Guam, eh?), was charged for scamming stores for free food...



Scamming stores for free food? This... this... beady-eyed blob could live off his own neck fat for a month before needing to ingest a single calorie! Anyway... after purchasing food, he would complain to stores that something was wrong with it in order to get his money back. He admitting pulling this scam for at least half a dozen milkshakes and once for $50 worth of beef jerky. When arrested, he said:

"The beef jerky got me."

Looks like you got that backward there, pal. To make the story more ludicrous (as though that were possible...), it's reported that Jolicoeur was:

...too big and too sick to come to court Wednesday, so he stayed in his nursing home, and his attorney pleaded no contest on his behalf.

Ugh. He's not the only one who's sick. I just lost my appetite.

And I used to like beef jerky. Sigh...

Capsize Guam? How About California?

Heh. I saw this today at HotAir...

Congressman Hank Johnson (D-Ga) is concerned that too many Marines might make the island of Guam tip over and capsize. Or something.



Now, I could easily make fun of Congressman Johnson for this. Soooo easily.

But what if he's right?

No. No. Stop laughing. Forget everything you think you know about the laws of physics, geology, basic common sense... Just consider the possibility, and stay with me a sec.

What if... what if... every conservative in America were to head west. Waaaay west. Maybe if enough of us flocked to the California shoreline, we could tip America to the left - I mean WEST! - long enough to totally submerge the coast and beyond.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

If enough of us did go, and if Johnson is correct, we could conceivably SINK BERKELEY!

Go west, young (and old, what the hell?!) conservatives! Grab a lifejacket, a canoe, tow your fishing boat or your cabin cruiser... whatever you can think of that will keep you afloat to vote! We can tip this country back to the right by tipping it to the left first!

I'm just sayin'...

GREEN Between The Sheets?

If the headline didn't make you spew on your keyboard, the story might.

From MotherNatureNetwork comes the review of a book I'll never read. Why? Because using the words "green" and "sex" in the same sentence is just gross.

You drive a hybrid, eat organic, and are passionate about recycling. But how green is your love life?

If you're like me and never once stopped to consider whether your "love life" is environmentally friendly, you can soon learn more about eco-sex. (I won't, but you can if you like.) Stefanie Iris Weiss has helpfully penned "Eco-Sex", to help us all "Go GREEN Between The Sheets and Make Your Love Life SUSTAINABLE", and it will be available March 31.

The book covers hand-crank sex toys, eco-friendly underpants, and more. Ms. Weiss says:

"...some people are going to make fun of the notion of eco-sex. I expect that."

(Heh. Maybe she's read my blog.)

Her top advice for wanna-be eco-sexuals?

"The No. 1 thing people can do to be an eco-sexual is to have fewer kids, or have none at all," said Weiss, who is childless.

More population control ideology from environmental activists. Great.

But maybe I'm being unfair. Surely, she's a sincere person who cares deeply and is only trying to help save the environment and the world. Right? After all, she plainly states:

"I am a very committed greenie, and I have been a vegetarian for 20 years."

I mean... she advocates a bike ride as an eco-date, biodegradable condoms, and growing your own flowers so as to avoid the environmental costs of florist-shop flowers and their deliveries... And she just looks like a nice lady, doesn't she?

(Photo of Ms. Weiss courtesy of MNN)

What the... Wait just an eco-friendly minute here! That jacket looks suspiciously like dead animal, don't it? And even if it's a very good faux dead animal, it would be made with (gasp!) petro-chemicals... Right?

Bamboo underpants and a leather coat. Eco-hypocrisy. Pfffft.

Preview Of ObamaCare

(In fairness, this happened before the ObamaCare vote... but if you think it isn't a glimpse of what's to come, including the whining union apologists, you're deluded.)

On February 7, a Pittsburgh man died at home after ten calls to 911 failed to bring the EMS services he needed. According to the AP story, Curtis Mitchell and his common-law wife Sharon Edge made their first calls for help in the early hours of February 6. Help never came.

"I'm very angry, because I feel they didn't do their job like they supposed to," said Edge, 51. "My man would still be living if they'da did they job like they was supposed to ... They took somebody that I love away."

This was in the middle of "Snowmageddon", which dropped over 20 inches of snow in Pittsburgh. But according to the city's public safety director Michael Huss, it's no excuse.

"... You get out of that damn truck and you walk to the residence," Huss said. "That's what needed to happen. We could have carried him out."

But it's not what happened. Instead, Mitchell died on his couch. And now the EMS crews involved are facing punishment after an investigation into their dereliction of duty.

According to the Pittsburgh Post Gazette story, at 5:50 am, an ambulance was four blocks from Mitchell's house... waiting for him to walk to them. By 6:09, crew chief Josie Dimon was tired of waiting.

"He ain't (expletive) comin' down, and I ain't waitin' all day for him," she told a colleague, crew chief Kim Long, at the dispatch center. "I mean, what the (expletive), this ain't no cab service."

And the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reports that Ms. Long, who had spoken several times with Edge, not only failed to relay to the EMS crew that Mitchell was too sick to walk, she failed to request a four-wheel-drive vehicle to reach the scene. She did at some point advise Mitchell to take a bus. At another point during the storm she advised the mother of a two-year-old to walk for help as well.

The morning of February 8, Edge made her last 911 call. To let them know Mitchell had died. While the firefighters dispatched to the house managed to arrive in only two minutes, the body of Curtis Mitchell lay for five hours on the couch before personnel from the medical examiner's office arrived to transport him.

Now, three of the EMS workers involved will be punished, with Josie Dimon - who doesn't work for a (expletive) cab service - facing termination. And their union president, Anthony Weinmann is squealing about it.

"We believe this (punishment) is completely unfounded and inherently wrong," said Weinmann, president of the Fraternal Association of Professional Paramedics, Local 1. "It is quite obvious that the city was ill-prepared for the snow disaster. The administration in charge of public safety did not put the employees of the City of Pittsburgh in a position to carry out their responsibility."

sigh...

First, let me just say: Snow disaster my ass. That's a lame excuse, don't buy it. I live right outside of Pittsburgh. It's not like that 20 inches of snow fell in one great plop. And I saw emergency vehicles in my own area, which is more rural than downtown Pittsburgh by far. Also, the fact that the shiftless heartless Ms. Long wanted Mitchell to take a city bus strongly suggests that at least some traffic was moving in town. This is further proven by the fact that firefighters were able to reach the Mitchell home in two minutes. Why the hell didn't the EMS workers call the fire department for help? Or - as their own public safety director mentioned - get off their asses and go to Mitchell?

So... after two days, over a dozen calls back and forth between the home and the 911 call center, and several calls cancelled because a man sick enough for an ambulance was too sick to walk to that ambulance, a man dies. The woman who had to watch him die then had to sit for hours with his body before it was collected. And the union would have us believe the EMS staff are the victims of the story.

Get ready for it, folks. If we can't get ObamaCare repealed, this is just a preview of what's to come for all of us. Lack of services, and unions (now elevated to a higher class than the rest of us, under the SEIU administration) who defend the indefensible.