Tuesday, January 12, 2010

"You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat"


A giant dolphin is terrorizing fishermen.

Mr Clarke, 43, said he was fishing with his wife, Karina, 1.5km offshore when the ocean exploded. "We saw this dark shape, it seemed 12 foot long under our 10-foot boat. I've never seen a dolphin that big." The dolphin chased his small aluminium speedboat, nudging it from behind.

Somebody gas up the Orca.

"I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing."


UPDATE: Yikes. I'd rather be in the boat running from the dolphin. Unless they're tweeting that, too. Stories like these are why I stay on dry land, where I'm comfortably at the top of the food chain.


Thats Right said...

"Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so never more shall we see you again."

ScratcherMMBI said...

"I think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and BITES YOU ON THE ASS!"

Thats Right said...

Dude don't even get me started with Quint quotes. Best...monologue...EVAH!

"Show me the way to go home...I'm tired and I wanna go to bed...well I had a little drink about an hour ago..and it went right to my head."

Anonymous said...

Do I smell a (crappy) sequel to that (crappy...yet entertaining) "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" film?
"Big-Ass Dolphin vs...."